


My Girlfriend's Brother

by PrincessOTP



Series: My Girlfriend's Brother [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Because there's a lot of fluff, Bois supporting each other, But just a little, Did I mention fluff?, F/M, Flower Crowns, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, If you squint you might see some plot underneath all that fluff, Jared's not a complete asshole, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Nail Painting, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Esteem Issues, Social Anxiety, Stress Baking, These bois are dorks, Tree Puns, Tree-based nicknames, Tutoring, endgame treebros, gay beans, i love these boys, soft connor, suicide attempt (mentioned)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-02-28 00:59:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13260276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessOTP/pseuds/PrincessOTP
Summary: Evan Hansen is finally dating Zoe Murphy but he's nervous about meeting her family, especially her brother who is coming back from rehab. However, Evan soon discovers that Connor isn't as scary as Zoe made him out to be. In fact, Evan really likes him. Will they stay as just friends or will they become something more?(Okay let's be honest here, you know the answer to that. This summary's really bad. I didn't know what to do. I swear it's better than it sounds XD)





	1. Dear Evan Hansen...

**Author's Note:**

> So this technically isn't my first fanfic but we don't count the one's I made in middle school... Oh the horrors. *Ahem* Anyways, I'll be honest, the first chapter is probably the most boring and it skips around a lot so just stick with me, okay?

Dear Evan Hansen,

Today is going to be a good day, and here’s why. Today is the day you are finally going to talk to Zoe Murphy. You’ve been trying to for a whole semester now, but today is the day you actually do it. You’ve spent a whole semester chickening out right before speaking to her, but not today. You can do this.

Sincerely, Me.

 _Today is the day._ Or at least that’s what Evan has been telling himself. If he says it enough maybe it will become true.

Evan waited outside the practice room for jazz band, trying to psyche himself up for when Zoe walked out. He had prepared what he wanted to say, but the closer and closer it got to the time when Zoe would walk out, the more nervous he became. And when she finally left the room and everything Evan was planning to say went out the window. Evan panicked and said the first thing that popped into his head. “You sounded really good.” But he said it so rapidly that it actually came out, “Yousoundedreallygood.”  
Zoe turned around to look at him. “I- I mean, not that I was just sitting here listening- I mean I was listening- but like n- not in a creepy way like I wasn’t trying to be creepy o- or anything I was just passing by but you sounded great.”

Zoe laughed. “Don’t worry, you didn’t come across as creepy. And thanks.”

Evan let out a breath.“Oh. Y- you’re welcome.”

Zoe offered her hand. “I’m Zoe Murphy.”

 _'Oh no, she wants to shake hands! My hands are probably super sweaty! Why are they always sweaty? But I can’t not shake her hand that would be rude.'_ Evan’s thoughts spiraled.  
“Evan Hansen.” He shook her hand, hoping she wouldn’t notice the sweat. Zoe didn’t wipe her hands on her pants or look disgusted and Evan was grateful for that. 

Zoe looked at Evan and he felt very self-conscious . “I think I’ve seen you at some of our concerts.” 

“Oh, y- yeah. You play guitar r- right? I love jazz band. It’s so… j- jazzy?”

Zoe giggled. “Yeah, I think that’s why it’s _jazz_ band.”

“R- right.” Evan forced out a laugh. “I love jazz band. Oh, I already said that. I- I mean, I love jazz. Well, not all jazz but definitely like jazz band jazz. That’s so weird I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat “A- anyways, I should get g- going.”

Zoe smiled at the boy. “Okay, see you around, Evan.” As soon as she spun back around, Evan almost fainted. Instead, he quickly walked away, wondering if he was actually only dreaming.

He didn’t dream it. The next day, Zoe waved at him in the hall. Evan glanced behind him to see if she was waving to someone else because she _had_ to be waving at someone else, why would she wave at Evan? But there was no one behind him, so he gave a small wave back. Sometimes, Zoe would actually come up and talk to him. Evan would stutter his way through a conversation and eventually it would be over and Evan could finally breathe normally again.

“Dude, I can’t believe you’re friends with Zoe Murphy! The girl you write those freaky sex letters to?” It was only a matter of time before Jared freaking Kleinman started bugging Evan about it.

“They aren’t sex letters! And I- I don’t even know if we’re friends. Do- do you think she thinks we’re friends?”

“Why don’t you just ask her?” 

“I can’t ask her! What if she says no! Then I’ll look like an idiot!”

“You already look like an idiot, Evan.”

“Thanks for the help.” Evan deadpanned.

“No problem, Ev.” Jared ignored the obvious sarcasm. “I mean, it’s been like over a month since you first talked to her and she hasn’t been scared off yet.”

“Hi, Evan!” Zoe smiled brightly as she walked up to the tree-loving boy.

“O-oh, hi, Zoe!.” Evan gave an awkward little wave. “U-um, so a-are w-we friends? O-or not. I mean, I don’t want to assume that you thought of us as friendsoranytingbutIjustwaswondering-”

“Evan.” Zoe cut him off. “We’re friends. That is, if you want us to be.”

“O-of course I want us to b-be friends!”

“And not anything more..?” Zoe ventured.

“W-what?” Evan blushed.

“I’m trying to ask you out. It’s fine if you say no, but I’d thought I try because you’re pretty cute and you seem like an extremely nice guy. And well, it _is_ Valentine's Day, so I thought I’d take a chance... Um, are you okay?” Evan looked ready to faint. He cleared his throat. 

“Ye-yeah. I-I’m fine.” Evan took a deep breath.

“So?”

“I-I would l-love to, uh, g-go o-out with y-you.” Evan barely made it through his sentence.

“Cool. Oh, by the way, I never gave you my number. Can I have your phone?” He handed it over and she put her number in with a heart by her name in his contacts. “I’ll text you.” They both said bye and once she was out of sight he started hyperventilating. 

“Woah, dude are you okay?” Jared startled Evan by coming up from behind him.

“Z-Zoe M-Murphy just a-asked me out!” Evan was having trouble believing what just happened was real.

“Good work, fam, that’s so lit!”

“What?”

“I need to educate you in how to be more chill, bro.”

“...What?”

“I have so much to teach you.”

The day after, Evan starts panicking because Zoe hasn’t texted him yet. He didn’t know when she was planning on texting him. She didn’t say when. So it could be today or tomorrow or 10 years from now! Thankfully, the panicking is cut short when his phone pings.

From: Zoe <3 _Is Sunday to soon to plan a date?_

Their first date wasn’t exactly what they were expecting. Evan broke down because he was worried he wasn’t being a good date so Zoe had to comfort him. But after he calmed down, everything went pretty okay. They had a nice dinner and just talked. Conversation came surprisingly easy and it was fun. So, while it wasn’t what he was imagining, Evan actually had a great time– panic attack aside.

~~~

“So, it’s been a couple months since we started dating…” Zoe began. Actually two months exactly. April 14th. 

“Yeah, it has.” Evan doesn’t stutter as much in front of her anymore.

“My parents want you to meet the family and well, my brother is coming home from rehab soon… I don’t really want to talk about but anyways, they want to meet you and if you do come, you’ll be there at the same time Connor’s coming home so you’ll meet him too. Hopefully he really has gotten better or else you’ll be dealing with… a monster.” Zoe finished. She looked up at Evan and panicked because he was breathing awfully hard. “Oh, shit, that’s probably too much, I’m sorry, you don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

“N-no, I-I w-want your parents to have a good impression of me and w-well, I’d like to meet them too.” Evan told her.

“What about Connor? If you don’t want to deal with him, you can come sometime before he gets back. I know he pushed you on the first day of school…”

“Well, he w-went to rehab right? You said h-he’d hopefully be a better person afterwards. Beside, he did kind of apologize and sign my cast afterwards…”

“He did?”

“Yeah, but then he left and I haven’t seen him since. I guess he went to rehab then?”

“Yep, he tried to commit suicide.” Zoe said it so nonchalantly that Evan almost choked on air.

“What?!?!” 

“Well, that and afterwards he smoked twice as much as before, so my parents sent him away.” She added as an afterthought. “But I really don’t like talking about this. Can we please change the subject?” 

“...Sure.”

About a week later, Evan was standing at the Murphy’s front door, worried that he was overdressed, when Zoe answered and her smile melted away all of his fears for a second. That is until he walked in and remembered why he was here. Zoe’s dad was already at the table. He barely looked up from his newspaper to acknowledge Evan. He seemed like the type of dad that was super protective of his little girl and Evan could only hope he would be accepted. He was about to say hello when Zoe’s mom came into the dining room with some food. Her eyes lit up as she saw Evan. She quickly set the food down on the table and greeted the young boy. “Hello, you must be Evan! Zoe talks about you a lot!”

“Mom!” Zoe complained.

“Oh, shush, Zoe, you’re allowed to talk about your boyfriend just as much as I’m allowed to embarrass you in front of him.” 

“Oh please don’t.”

Dinner wasn’t as bad as Evan was expecting. It was actually pretty fun to sit down with other people and eat. Like normal people do.  
“Oh, wow! This is really good, Mrs. Murphy!”

“Thank you, Evan and please, call me Cynthia!”  
Even Zoe’s dad– who Evan thought was totally going to murder him by the end of the night– was actually really nice to him.

And then Connor arrived.


	2. Basically For Forever Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan meets Connor and they go to the apple orchard.
> 
>  
> 
> Lots of tree puns. 
> 
> So many tree puns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this the same day as the last one because that one is kind of boring, like I said. The first chapter was really just like the segue into the actual fic... Plus we're all really just here for some good ol' TreeBros so I shall grant your wishes.

As far as Evan can remember, Connor doesn’t look much different. He’s wearing a black hoodie- well his whole outfit is black- and his hair is tied up in a bun. Evan never particularly liked the whole “man-bun” trend but it looked nice on Connor.

“Wow. Not that Connor wore all that many colors before but it looks like he lost some at rehab. Hopefully it doesn’t reflect on his attitude or sending him away was pointless.” Zoe joked. Evan cringed and faked a laugh. He loved Zoe but he didn’t think you should joke about that kind of stuff. Especially this soon. Plus, it honestly wasn’t funny at all. Not that he would ever say that to Zoe.

Connor turned to face Zoe. He looked at Evan but... not really? Like he had a blank look in his eyes. Staring right through Evan like he wasn’t there. Evan decided to speak up. “U-um, h-hello, I’m Ev-” Connor turned and walked upstairs to unpack his things, totally ignoring Evan. _‘D-did I do something wrong?’_ Evan thought. Geez, did he really mess things up already? Evan’s eyes started watering. He ducked his face so no one could see but Zoe noticed. 

“Oh, no no no no. Evan, don’t cry. It’s not your fault my brother is a jerk.” She said softly. In a more bitter tone she added, “I guess just because he’s sober doesn’t mean he’s suddenly a better person.”

“Should- should you talk to him? I- I mean only if y-you want to…B-but I mean-” Evan had finally gotten over his stuttering around Zoe but in one day he’s back to being so very unsure and self-conscious.

“No, just ignore him. He’ll have to notice your existence sometime.”

The first time Connor speaks to Evan- or acknowledges him in any way- is to ask him why he’s always around. Evan is sitting on the couch when Connor comes up behind the couch and surprises Evan. To be honest, Evan thought he’d go the rest of his life without hearing Connor speak- or at least speak to him. So when Connor snuck up on him like a ninja in all-black, Evan jumped and whipped his head around so fast he worried he was going to give himself whiplash. 

“Uh, w-well, I, um, I- I’m Zoe’s b-boyfriend and-” Evan began.

“But you’re here _all the time._ That’s one overbearing boyfriend.” Connor jumped over the couch and sat next to Evan.

Evan flinched. “Oh, am I- am I being too overbearing? Sh-should I leave? Does Zoe want me to leave?”

“Woah, chill out, dude. I was joking. But for real, don’t you have your own house?”

“Well, yeah, b-but my mom is never home so I’m a-always alone. A-and I like it here.”

“Why?” Connor leaned it, interested. He seemed genuinely curious as to why Evan liked his house.

“W-what?”

“Why do it like it here? I hate it here.”

“W-well, I feels like I’m part of s-something here.”

“Something? Very specific.”

“I feel like I’m part of… part of a family here.”

Connor looks at Evan like he’s crazy. “Man, you must have a fucked up family yourself to think that our family is any better. Have you not seen all the fighting around here?” Evan shakes his head. “Maybe they’re trying to put on a good show for the guest then, huh?” Connor says bitterly. Evan is almost scared by the look he sees in Connor’s eyes.  
Before Evan can say anything, Connor gets up and walks away.

Everything is nice within the household and Evan really doesn’t know what Connor was talking about… until he does. Evan really hates yelling. Even if it’s not directed at him, it’s still scary. So here he is frozen on the couch while Mr. and Mrs. Murphy have a shouting match in front of him. Of course, Zoe can see how freaked out Evan is, so she takes action. “I’m so sorry about this. Um, maybe you should go home. I don’t want you to have to see this.”

“Oh, um, yeah.” Evan hastily agrees, wanting to be out of there as fast as he can. He begins to leave, giving Zoe a quick kiss and walking out the door but he stops because sitting on the doorstep is the one and only Connor Murphy.

“Couldn’t take the fighting either, could you, Hansen?” Connor looks up at Evan.

“Um, yeah, I- I don’t like confrontation. W-wait you know my name?”

“I’m guessing you don’t really want to go home?” Connor said, ignoring the last part of what Evan said.

“N-not really, no. But I don’t have anywhere else to go. B-besides I should probably do my homework or e-else I’ll have to worry about it later and I want time to do it because what if I can’t finish it all and then-.” 

Connor cuts Evan’s panic attack short. “Or, you could come with me.”

“W- where are you going?”

“Somewhere fun. Wanna come or not?

“Um… S-sure.” Evan had a hard time saying no to people.

Maybe getting into the car of someone you’ve spoken to twice is a bad idea. Evan doesn’t even know if Connor likes him. Probably not. I mean, Evan’s not _expecting_ Connor to like him or anything but– Oh God this was a bad idea, wasn’t it? What if Connor’s taking Evan out to the middle of nowhere so he could murder him! Nobody knows that Evan’s even gone or that Connor took him anywhere so Connor could totally get away with it. 

“We’re here.” Connor’s voice shakes Evan out of his stupor. This is it. This is where Evan dies. They both get out of the car. Evan reads the faded sign above him. Autumn Smile Apple Orchard. Didn’t this place get shut down a while ago? Which means no one will be here… which means it’s the perfect place to _murder_ someone.

“A… an abandoned apple orchard?” Evan asks, trying to keep his voice steady.

“Yep.” Connor starts climbing the fence. 

“W-what are you doing?!” Evan shouts.

“Um, did you expect me to phase through the fence like a ghost?” Connor jumps down to the other side and opens the gate for Evan. Huh. Evan thought he’d be dead by now but… I guess Connor’s not a murderer after all.

Wow. The orchard is beautiful. Connor starts walking towards an open field that’s framed with trees, and Evan follows, still gazing at the pretty sights all around him. Evan almost doesn’t realize that Connor sat down, about to trip over the boy on the ground before stopping and sitting next to him. Connor doesn’t say anything, just sits there watching the clouds and Evan feels awkward. Should he say something? What should he even say? O-or maybe he shouldn’t say anything. It might ruin the peacefulness of the moment. But then the awkwardness won’t go away for Evan. Oh well, here goes nothing!  
“U-um, thanks for inviting me here. I’m g-glad t-to tree here.” 

Connor’s head whipped around so fast Evan was worried it would fly off. “D-did you just–?” And then Evan realized what he just said.

“I-I meant b-be h-here! Be. N-not t-tree!” Evan got really flustered trying to explain his way around his mistake.

“It’s _oak_ -ay, Hansen.” Connor said, smirking. Wait, did Connor just make another pun...

“W-what?”

“It’s a pretty _tree_ -mendous place.” Connor continued.

“Y-yeah, it’s like a _tree_ -m.” Evan joined in and Connor smiled. Wow. Evan didn’t know Connor that long but this was the first time he’s seen him smile. It made him seem a little less intimidating. Maybe if he could just get Connor to smile more...

“It’s so great here that it should be considered _tree_ -son just stepping foot in the place!”

“ _Wooden_ ’t that be in- _tree_ -guing?” Evan was starting to get into this.

“I’d like to think of it as more of a re- _tree_ -t, but we are breaking the law being in someone else’s terri- _tree_.”

“We’ll be fine as long as no one catches us on their proper- _tree_.” Evan may have been joking but there was still a part of him seriously panicking about being caught here.

“What a re- _leaf_! But your tree puns _arbor_ -ing.”

Evan faked a gasp. “I _walnut_ stand for this! I _fern_ -ly be- _leaf_ my tree puns are of the utmost quali- _tree_.”

“We should stop or else we’ll go on _fir_ a _tree_ -llion more years.” They both laughed and laid down in the grass, just watching the sky. The sky was so vast and it was all they could see for forever, filling their visions with blue. They just laid there and let the world pass by, occasionally making a comment on a cloud–

(“That one looks like a penis.”  
“What the f-frick, C-Connor… but y-yeah, it k-kinda does…”)

 

–or just talking to fill the silence. Evan felt like he could go on forever like this. Which was strange, for Evan, especially when he was with someone else. But he was actually felt… kind of safe here, with Connor. Maybe he was making a… a friend?  
Then, Connor stands up, and pulls Evan to his feet. “W-wha? Where are we going?” Connor shrugs.

“I was just tired of lying there. Wanna walk with me?”

“You ask me _after_ you forcefully pull me up?” Evan raises an eyebrow. It was actually impressive how strong Connor was though. Or maybe Evan was just that light… Yeah, that’s more likely.

They walked around a bit in silence before Connor broke the quiet and asked what Evan was going to do when they get out of school. “O-oh, um… I don’t really know.”

“Well, what’s something you want to do?”

“Um...maybe… bike the Appalachian trail?”

“Really?”

“S-sure, why not? What about you what’s something you want to do?”

“W-well. Don’t make fun of me, but I’ve always kind of wanted to write a book.”

“Why would I make fun of you? That sounds really cool! Do you like writing?” Wait… was Connor blushing? But then it was gone. Maybe Evan imagined it.

“Yeah. I mean, it’s pretty cool. I can create my own worlds and such. Better worlds than this one.” 

Evan didn’t comment on that last thing, even though he was remembering how Zoe told him that Connor… He couldn’t even finish thinking that sentence. Evan didn’t know what to say after that so they fell back into silence. Just listening to the birds chirping and the leafs of the trees rustling. 

“S-so, is there any girls you are interested in?” Evan asks suddenly, surprising even himself. Connor snorts.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, it’s just…”

“Just what?”

“I’m gay.” Oh. _Ooooooohhhhh._

“OhmygoshIamsosorryforassuming-”

“Dude, chill. It’s fine. Just uh… don’t tell my parents.”

“S-so they don’t know?”

“No you… you’re the first person I’ve told.”

“W-what? Why me?”

“I dunno… You just didn’t seem like the type of guy to judge me for that or anything.”

“Well, um, t-thanks for trusting me with that.” Evan smiled gently.

“Well, I’m glad my impulsive reaction to just blurt out my sexuality didn’t end horribly.” Connor looks around at the orchard. Somehow they ended up right back where they started  
in that open field. “You know, this is my favorite place.”

“R-really? And you brought me–who is practically a stranger to you–to this place?” 

Connor just shrugged like it was no big deal. It was a big deal to Evan though. He was going to say something when Connor spoke. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” He was looking out into the distance, admiring the view once again.

Evan’s face flushed red. He knew Connor had to be speaking about the orchard itself but the way it was worded, and right after talking about him inviting Evan here, it made it sound like Connor was talking about Evan. Evan was really glad Connor wasn’t looking at him at the moment, giving him time to let his face return to its normal color. “M-me too.”  
He said once his face wasn’t burning.

Connor turned back to look at Evan. “Well, I’d be offended if you didn’t love it here.” He teased. Evan barely even had the time to recognize that _Connor Murphy_ was _teasing_ him when Connor bolted across the field, leaving Evan very shocked. 

“Follow me!” Connor called behind him, racing towards the tallest tree in the field. Evan runs after him and Connor is there waiting at the bottom of the tree. “Race ya up to the  
top!” And then Connor starts climbing up the tree. Evan didn’t know that Connor Murphy was going to leave him this breathless. Evan reached a hand up toward the branch before realizing what he just thought. B-breathless as in making him r-run around all o-over the place n-not like in a-another way. Flustered, Evan made his way up the tree, on foot after the other, getting closer and closer to Connor. One branch, then to another. Climbing higher and higher, Evan starts to feel the sun on his face.  
Evan pauses in his climbing, suddenly remembering what happened that Summer. When he… when he fell from the tree. His arm had healed since then so there was no reason to think of it beside the fact that this is the first time he’s climbed a tree since. Connor seemed to notice that Evan wasn’t climbing and stops on the branch above Evan. “Evan?” He questioned.

Evan snaps back into reality and takes the chance to get ahead while Connor was distracted. Evan makes it to the top of the tree first. “Haha! Vic-tree is mine!” Evan yelled out.

“That wasn’t fair.” Connor tells him, coming up right behind him. Evan just smiles and the two of them sit there and watch the sunset. The sky was getting dark, and they both realized that they should be heading home. They climb down and Connor asks where Evan lives so that he could drive him home. Evan tells him and they leave. As Evan gets out of Connor’s car he turns back to him. 

“Thank you for today. It was... Perfect.” Evan grins at Connor. In the faint light of the streetlight, Evan thinks he sees Connor blushing a little again, but he can’t be sure.

“Geez, you’re making it sound like a date.” Evan definitely flushes slightly, and closes the car door, heading inside his house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Were all those tree puns too over-elm-ing?
> 
> Ok, sorry, I'll stop.


	3. Chemistry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bois go to school, also they get icecream

Evan practically lives at the Murphy’s house. Maybe Connor was right. Maybe Evan is being too overbearing. I mean, isn’t it unhealthy to constantly be around your significant other? But even with the fighting, the Murphy’s are the closest thing he’s ever had to a family. Sure, he has his mom–and he loves her, don’t get him wrong–but she’s always working, so he’s always by himself all day. And it’s not like he has any friends. Well, there’s Jared but he always says they’re only “family friends”, not real friends. Maybe Evan can finally have a friend here in the Murphy household…

Connor walks into the living room and doesn’t even blink at Evan being there. While he’s never really talked to him before beside that one time, Connor would have to be blind to not see Evan there every single day. So it’s not surprising to see Evan sitting on the couch, waiting for Zoe to come down. But it does surprise Connor when Evan speaks.  
“Hey.” Evan waves excitedly at Connor.  
“Um...hey?” Connor awkwardly stands there for a second. He wasn’t really expecting Evan to talk to him… like… ever. Evan can clearly see Connor’s confusion, which in turn puzzles Evan. They spent all day at the apple orchard together but now that it’s over Connor doesn’t think Evan’s going to want to speak to him???  
“Uh, how are you?” Evan continues through the awkwardness.  
“Fine.”  
“Oh. Um… that’s good…” Ugh why is this so awkward? They weren’t like this at the apple orchard!  
“Hey, Evan!” Zoe comes down the stairs and kisses Evan on the cheek, obviously missing the awkward tension in the air. It actually takes her a second to even realize Connor’s existence in the living room. “Connor.” She remarks coldly. 

Suddenly the awkward tension turned into something a little more dark. Evan cleared his throat, breaking some of that tension. “S-so, do you wanna go?” Zoe abruptly remembered that she and Evan had made plans for a date.  
“Right. Yeah. Let’s go.” She grabbed Evan’s hand and Evan peered behind him as the walked away, wondering what exactly Connor did to have this strained of a relationship with Zoe. For a second Evan caught Connor’s eye but the taller boy had turned away.

~~~

Chemistry was probably the most stressful anxiety-inducing class Evan had. It’s not like he doesn’t like chemistry– he does– but he hated whenever they had to get into pairs for an experiment. But at the same time he didn’t want to do it alone because what if he got confused and didn’t know what he was doing and didn’t have a partner to figure it out for him and then he would have to ask the teacher and then everyone would know that he couldn’t do it on his own and they’d all laugh at him for being incompetent and– _Wait… is that… Connor?_

“Oh, you must be Connor Murphy.” The teacher said, noticing Connor coming into the classroom. “Why don’t you go sit in the empty seat in the back row?” Evan looked around and realized that the seat in question was the one right next to him. Geez, what are the chances of this happening? Why was Connor even in this class? He’d gone back to school before today and he never had this class! Evan was going to ask Connor about it but the teacher started talking so Evan stayed silent until she dismissed them to find a partner and work on their experiment.  
“I didn’t know you had this class.” Evan finally voiced his thoughts.  
“Uh, yeah I didn’t. But they’ve been moving around my schedule a bunch trying to get me situated or whatever.” Connor shrugged. He glanced around before turning his eyes back to Evan. “I guess we’re partners.”  
“What?”  
“Well, everyone else already has a partner.” Connor gestured to the rest of the class, already starting the assignment.  
“Oh. I guess so then.” Evan probably would have chosen Connor as his partner anyway, given that he didn’t even know anyone else, but he decided not to say that. “So, uh, how’s readjusting to s-school going?” Evan asked, as they got together the supplies they needed for the experiment.  
“It fucking sucks.” Connor growled out. “I don’t know half the shit they’re talking about.”  
“D-do you n-need help?” Evan asked, timidly.  
“Are you offering to help me in class?” Connor raised a skeptical eyebrow at Evan.  
“Uh, y-yeah, sure. I mean, I-I’m p-pretty good at, um, school? I mean, some s-subjects aren’t my b-best but…”  
“Dude, you still probably know more than me. And well, I really need some fucking help here, man. Normally I wouldn’t accept help but I can’t even bullshit my way through this crap, now.”  
“Well, I’d love to help you out, then.” Evan says cheerfully. They go back to focusing on their lab work and Evan barely makes out the tiny “Thanks” he hears from Connor.

Evan was putting his textbooks in his locker, getting ready to walk home when a voice makes him jump and accidentally slam his locker door. He cringed at the loud noise.“S-sorry.” He said to no one in particular.  
“So, are we going to your house?” Evan looked up to see that the voice from earlier was Connor.  
“W-wait, r-right now?”  
“Yeah, I mean, unless you have something better to do?” Evan was sure Connor didn’t mean to say that as rude as it came across.  
“N-no. I, um, I just didn’t realize you wanted help with school _immediately_.” Evan fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “I guess w-we probably should have m-made a plan or something…”  
They were both silent for a moment. “Uh, so how do you normally get home? ‘Cause I can drive you if you want.” Connor pulled out his keys.  
“O-oh, uh, sure. I mean, it’s better than walking.”  
“You walk home?”  
“Well, yeah. I h-hate the bus. What if it’s not in the same place one day and I can’t find it and I end up missing it? Or even worse! What if I get on the wrong bus? A-and my mom is usually working or at school so she can’t pick me up. Some days she probably could but I don’t want to inconvenience her. And my house isn’t _that_ far, so….” Evan thinks he shouldn’t have said all that. Who even is afraid of the bus? Connor’s going to think he’s a weirdo now.  
“Makes sense.” Connor’s responded and Evan was relieved. They start walking to Connor’s car. Evan tells Connor his address (again, because Connor forgot) and they sit in car in total silence. Evan isn’t sure if an awkward silence or not. Either way, they make it to Evan’s house and get out. 

Evan unlocked the door and started showing Connor around. “Um, that’s the kitchen, and uh, there’s the living room and that’s the bathroom. That room is my mom’s and here’s my room.” He gestures to the door awkwardly before going inside. “U-um where do you want to do this?”  
Connor just goes and sits on the bed. “I dunno, what do you think?”  
Evan’s brain short-circuits. He’s letting Evan decide? _'How am I supposed to know? Why does he expect me to know? I’m terrible at making decisions!'_ He is internally panicking and Connor seems to notice and speaks up. “Um, well, what about we sit at your desk? You can grab another chair and sit by me so you can help me through it.”  
Evan nods and takes a deep breath. He goes to get another chair from another room and when he gets back, Connor has already pulled out his homework and has it spread out before him. “So, what d-do you want to work on first?” Evan asks, quietly adding, “And please don’t ask me what _I_ think we should work on.”  
Connor smiled a little at that and decided on algebra. Evan helped explain the concepts and corrected any mistakes Connor made. 

They went on like that with different subjects for a while before Connor starting complaining. “Ugh! I need a break. I fucking deserve one after all that.” He stood up and stretched. He started walking away and gestured that Evan should follow.  
“W-where are you going?”  
“You mean where are we going. And the answer to that is a surprise.” Connor smirked and got in his car. Evan locked the house door behind him and quickly made his way to the passenger seat. He anxiously waited while Connor drove him to this unknown place. Connor seemed to like to drag Evan around to random places without Evan knowing where they’re going.  
“We both need a treat after-” He looked at the time displayed in the car, “3 hours of studying, so...” Connor pulled into a parking spot. Evan got out and suddenly realized what Connor was talking about. Just from the name, Evan could tell it was an icecream place. _A La Mode_.  
“Shouldn’t you ask if someone is lactose intolerant before dragging them to an icecream place?”  
“Oh fuck, are you lactose intolerant?”  
“No, but you should’ve asked that _before_ we came here.” Evan smiled, amused, and walked inside the little icecream shop. He looked at the menu trying to decide what he wanted and it wasn’t until Connor ordered for himself that Evan realized he would actually have to interact with people and order his icecream. 

The lady at the counter was looking at him expectantly and Evan was frozen, kinda like the icecream. Being unable to speak, he pulled gently on Connor’s sleeve to get his attention. Connor looked at the lady and back at Evan. He quickly became aware of what Evan’s predicament was and leaned over so Evan could whisper his order into Connor’s ear. Connor then repeated it to the girl at the counter. And that’s when Evan became aware of the fact that he didn’t bring any money but Connor was already paying for both of them.  
“Thanks.” Evan whispered.  
“It’s no big deal. After all, you’re helping me so I might as well do something for you.”

Connor had gotten chocolate icecream with sprinkles–

(“Don’t you dare say anything about the sprinkles to anyone.”  
“O-okay...”)

–and Evan got mint chocolate chip. Again, it was quiet as they ate their icecream, but Evan knew it was a comfortable silence this time. They finish their icecreams and leave, heading back to Evan’s house. Upon entering the house, they hear a voice.

“Oh! Who’s your friend, Evan?” Heidi appears from the living room.  
“Mom! I didn’t realize you’d be home right now.”  
“Well, I got off work early. But aren’t you going to introduce me to your new friend?” Heidi questioned Evan, excitedly looking at Connor.  
“O-ok, this is Connor. Connor Murphy.”  
“Zoe’s brother? Well, it’s nice to meet you, Connor.” Heidi held out her hand. Connor took it and shook it.  
“It’s nice to meet you too, Mrs. Hansen.” Connor greeted politely. Which… definitely isn’t a word Evan would use to describe Connor, so it’s weird seeing him like this. But, Evan supposes, he doesn’t even know Connor all that well yet.  
“Please, call me Heidi.” Heidi smiled. “So, what are you two doing?”  
“Evan was helping tutor me in my classes.” Connor grinned and glanced at Evan, who was still shocked by Connor’s sudden change in attitude. “You have a very smart son, Heidi.” Evan blushed under the praise.  
Heidi looked fondly at Evan. “Yes, yes I do.” And then she hugged Evan really tight.  
“M-mom!” Evan struggled out of her grip.  
“Sorry, sorry.” Heidi released him. “I’ll let you go now. You probably want to study some more.”  
“Um, actually, I would love to stay but it’s getting late and I should be getting home.” Connor said and went to grab his things.  
“He’s nice.” Heidi told Evan.  
“Yeah.” Evan beamed, remembering how Connor bought him icecream,“He is.” Evan finally had a real friend. One that wasn’t a ‘family friend’ or his girlfriend. At least, he hoped he and Connor were friends. Huh. This was just like his situation with Zoe when he was wondering if they were friends. 

Connor came back out with his stuff and said goodbye to Heidi. Evan walked  
Connor out. As soon as the door was shut, Connor’s entire aura changed once more. “So, same time tomorrow?” But Evan was too caught up in the abrupt change.  
“Connor, what was _that?_ ”  
“What was what?”  
“You were like a totally different person in there!”  
“What, I can’t be polite?” Connor snapped, narrowing his eyes at Evan.  
“I- I didn’t say you couldn’t be…”  
“Right. Sorry.” Connor relaxed. “Anyways, I need her to like me if I’m going to be coming over here a lot.”  
“Oh.”

Silence seems to be a common theme between them.

“Well, I like I said, I gotta dash. I didn’t exactly tell anyone I was coming over here, so I’m probably gonna be in huge trouble when I get back. Bye!” Connor turned towards his car.  
“W-wait!” Evan called after him. Connor faced him once more.  
“What?”  
“A-are we friends?”  
“If you want to be.” Connor said, nonchalantly, like he didn’t really care either way. But something about him made Evan think he did care.  
“W-well, I do. W-want to be friends.” His suspicions were confirmed when Connor’s eyes lit up when Evan said this.  
“Well, then we’re friends.” Connor smiled. “See ya!”  
“See ya.” Evan grinned back and Connor left, leaving Evan with a joyful feeling in his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess you could say they have Chemis-tree ;)
> 
> Also, them having Chemistry together was chosen because I wanted them to be lab partners and I like Chemistry. Not because they have sexual chemistry.
> 
> Btw, giving characters your own anxieties is fun. Like the whole bus thing. Sometimes the bus wouldn't be in the same place it usually was and I would panic because I couldn't find it. One time, I actually did miss the bus. Thankfully, I was with my friend so I felt a little better. I still cried though. This was in middle school, just so you know.


	4. The Adventures of Evangreen and Conifer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Murphy siblings don't get along and Evan wonders if he could do something to change that...
> 
> Also, Evan bakes when he's stressed.

Connor arrived home and was immediately yelled at, ruining his good mood. “Where were you?!” Cynthia shouted, checking that Connor wasn’t hurt. At least she bothered to care unlike the rest of his family. 

“I was at Evan’s house.” Connor replied, easing Cynthia’s worries. “Since a while back.” Connor responded, trying to push past her to get to the stairs. “It’s none of your business.” 

“It _is_ my business! That’s my boyfriend we’re talking about! Don’t you dare even think about corrupting him. He is a pure little cinnamon roll and he is too precious for this world!” Zoe pointed a finger at Connor. Connor wasn’t even listening. 

“Yeah. Totally.” Connor managed to get past her and started climbing the stairs. 

“What were you even doing over there?” Zoe demanded from behind him. 

“He’s helping me with school work, since I’ve been gone for, like, _forever_ and I need to catch the fuck up.” Connor shot back and rushed into his room before Zoe could bother him anymore. 

~~~

The next day while tutoring Connor, Evan realized something. “Hey, Connor?” Connor looked up from his paper. 

“What? Did I do it wrong?” Connor frowns. 

“No.” He glances at the paper. “Actually you made a mistake, but that’s not what I was going to say." 

“What then?” “

It’s so late in the school year, so why even come back this year? You only went to school the first day and then you were gone for most of the year, so wouldn’t it be easier to just redo your Senior year next year?” 

Connor sighed. “I just want to get high school fucking over with. So I’ll finish this year and go to summer school to make up for the rest so I can be done with this bullshit.” 

“You can do that?” But Connor was back to glaring at his paper. 

“What the fuck did I do wrong?” 

“Oh, it’s not a really big thing, you just forgot to carry the negative.” 

“Shit.”

After they wrapped up, Connor turned to Evan. “Dude. I just realized I don’t even have your number.” 

“Oh, yeah I guess so.” The two exchanged numbers. 

“I’m putting you under ‘Evangreen’ just so you know.” 

“Evangreen?” 

“Yeah, like an evergreen tree.” Connor said with a small smile that Evan found adorable. ...You can find friend’s smiles adorable, right? 

“I love it.” Evan grinned back. “But now I’m making you ‘Conifer Murphy’.” 

“God, we’re fucking dorks, aren’t we?” 

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone ‘The Great Connor Murphy’ is actually a huge dork.” Evan teased. Connor rolled his eyes playfully.  


Evan had the sudden urge to hug Connor. “Can I hug you?” He blurts out accidentally, averting his eyes once he realized what he said. Oh God, he didn’t mean to say that. 

He quickly moved his eyes back to Connor to see his reaction and was surprised when he saw Connor standing there, shocked, with a red face. “Y-you don’t have to ask… I mean, we’re friends, right? Friends… hug each other, don’t they? So, yeah, you don’t h-have to ask.” Connor told Evan. “But it was still really fucking cute.” He added under his breath. 

“What did you say?” 

“Nothing, just hug me, dork.” Connor wrapped Evan in his arms and was immediately reminded of how long it’s been since he’s actually had any kind of physical affection. It was when Evan started fidgeting in his arms that Connor realized he held on for too long. He let Evan go and cleared his throat. “I- I gotta go now. B-but I’ll text you, ok?” 

“Y-yeah. B-bye!” Evan waved awkwardly.

But now Evan is once again in the position where he’s waiting for someone to text him and he doesn’t know when it’s coming. WHAT DOES ‘I’LL TEXT YOU’ EVEN MEAN??? Later today? Tomorrow? The day after th- Evan’s phone pinged.  
He jumped at the noise and swiftly grabbed it. He checked it but only to feel disappointed. It wasn’t Connor. Actually, it was Zoe. Evan never thought he’d see the day that a text from Zoe Murphy was disappointing to him.

To: Evan _hey ur usually @ my house all the time where did u go?_

Another text followed.

To: Evan _i’m not saying u have to be @ my house but u usually r_

Now that Evan thinks about it, he hasn’t been. He’s been at home. Granted, it’s only been a few days but he used to go to the Murphy’s house everyday. But now his after school routine was tutoring Connor, grabbing a snack to eat, and then scrolling through social media until it was time to go to sleep. Sure, he still has a lot of time that could be spent at the Murphy’s but by then it’s getting late and it’s weird to just show up at someone’s house that late, right?

To: Zoe <3 _Sorry. With school and tutoring your brother my days are pretty full now._

He sent it. A response came almost immediately.

To: Evan _he told me about that but i didn't know if he was lying or not_

To: Zoe <3 _Why would he lie about that?_

To: Evan _idk maybe he didn't want me to know where he rlly was_

To: Evan _he didn’t pressure u into doing this right?_

To: Zoe <3 _No! Of course not!_

To: Evan: _okay then…_

The more Evan got to know Connor, the more he wondered why Zoe hated him so much. Maybe he really was different before rehab. ...Or maybe Zoe is right and Connor is going to turn on him, but he doesn’t like to think about that possibility. He kind of wants to ask but he kind of also doesn’t want to know. And he’s too afraid to ask anyways.  
_‘If I could tell her… if I could just show her that Connor isn’t that bad, then maybe…'_  
Maybe what? He could stand in a room with both of them without an unbelievably strong tension? Their relationship would be fixed? Maybe his best friend and his girlfriend could finally get along…  
On the other hand, Evan doesn't even really know how Connor feels about this. Does he actually not like Zoe back or is he just the victim? But obviously he must have done something to make Zoe hate him so he's not totally innocent. And Zoe is a victim too… Evan’s just confusing himself at the point. He should just stop thinking about it now.

…

_Stop._

_Thinking._

_About._

_It._

The next morning, going to school, Evan has a big bag of cookies he has no idea what to do with. It turns out he couldn’t stop thinking about it. It stressed him out and he kind of starts baking like a madman when he gets really stressed and he has the equipment around him to just start baking. So now he has a big bag of cookies with two more trays at home. He keeps them in his bag until lunch.  
He sits down by himself and is surprised when Jared sits down next to him. “J-Jared? It’s been awhile since you’ve sat by me at lunch…” 

“Yeah, well, you have Zoe now, and I have my totally awesome friends.” 

“R-right…” 

“Anyways, I came over because I wanted to ask if you wanted to hang out at my house Saturday. Spend the night?” 

“You’re inviting me over?” 

“Yeah, I haven’t hung out with you in a while.” Jared shrugged. Evan smiled. “My parents are gonna get suspicious and stop paying for stuff for me. I’ll have to pay for my own car insurance!” Evan’s heart sunk. Right. ‘Family friends’. 

“Sure, I guess.” Evan responded, always unable to say no. 

“Great!” Jared stood up but Evan stopped him. 

“Hey, do you want to take some of these cookies of my hand?” 

“You baked cookies? Score! I love your cookies!” Jared excitedly grabbed the cookies Evan was handing him. 

“Y-you do?” “

I- I mean…” Jared’s face shifted into something cooler. “I’ve had better but they’re pretty good.” He paused, awkwardly. “Anyways, I’ve gotta go, my friend’s are waiting.” 

Zoe walked past him, sitting down with Evan. He grinned at her and she returned his smile. “Hey!” Zoe greeted. 

“Hi.” Evan returned.

Lunch went pretty normally other than that. Evan gave Zoe some cookies and she complimented him. (“Wow these are great! Did you make these? I would pay good money for this!”) The two ate cookies and their respective lunches together like they always do.

At the end of the day, Connor met Evan at Evan’s locker the way they’ve been doing for the past few days and they head to Evan’s house. In the car, Evan feels the need to mention that Connor never texted him. But, again, he never said _when_ , he just said he would, so Evan isn’t sure that he should bring it up. They arrive at Evan’s and just as Evan is about to open his door, however, he remembers just how messy his kitchen probably is right now.  
“U-um. Connor, I’m going to warn you. T-the kitchen is a mess right now. I totally forgot to clean it up last night, so yeah…” Connor nodded in response so Evan went ahead and opened the door. Passing the kitchen, Evan cringed at the scene. Connor glanced in and immediately noticed the cookies on the counter.  


“Cookies?”  


“Y-yeah, I actually was going to give you some. I kind of baked too many…” Evan laughed awkwardly. 

“Wait, _you_ baked all those cookies?” Connor asked in awe. 

“Um, y-yeah.” Evan said, hoping Connor would judge him to harshly for liking baking. 

“Cool.” Connor announced, continuing into Evan’s room. No judgement at all. Connor never failed to surprise Evan.

“So, in English we were given this assignment…” Connor started. Evan nodded, silently telling Connor to continue. “I, ugh, I don’t know how to explain it. As you can see, I’m not very good at English!” 

“Well, did you take notes on what the assignment was?” 

“Yeah, in my notebook but-” 

“This one?” Evan grabbed a notebook of his bed. 

"Yes, but-” Evan opened the notebook and Connor squeaked, rushing to grab it from Evan’s hands. But it was too late. Evan had already seen the little doodles in the margins of Connor’s notebook. 

“Oh my God, these are adorable!” Evan declared he looked at them in astonishment while Connor groaned in embarrassment. “And _really_ well done! You’re such a great artist!” Evan looked back up at Connor who had his face buried in his arms.  
Connor mumbled something into his arms. “What?” Evan questioned. He mumbled again. “Connor, I can’t hear you.”  


Connor lifted his head. “I said ‘thanks’.” He said softly. It was probably the cutest thing Evan has ever seen. 

“You could totally write a book _and_ illustrate it!” Remarks, flipping through the notebook. 

“Y-you remembered that?” Connor asked, referring to when he told Evan he wanted to write a book. 

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I have?” Evan responded and Connor shrugged.

They continued studying when Evan abruptly shot up. “Oh, yeah! Connor!” Evan reached in his backpack and pulled out the bag of cookies. “I wanted you to have some of these!” 

“Oh, thanks…” Connor took the bag and started munching on a cookie. His eyes widened. “Holy FUCK! These are incredible!” Connor exclaimed. Evan flushed under the praise. He’d been complimented a lot today and he didn’t know how much he could take. Soon the entire bag was empty. 

“Geez, you really like them, huh?” Evan asked nervously. Connor looked directly into his eyes. 

“Dude, I would kill a man for those cookies.” 

“Um…” 

“Chill, man, I’m not a homicidal maniac.” Connor playfully nudged Evan. “But seriously can I take some more?” 

“Oh, wow really? I mean, yeah. Yes. Totally. If you really want to….” Evan stuttered.

Connor ended up leaving with a whole tray of cookies that he stuffed into the bag from before.

He ate all of them.


	5. The Insanely Cool Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Murphy siblings have a fight and Connor tells Evan about his past.
> 
> Also, Jared and Evan have a sleepover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first things first, I had a very important realization last week that with Zoe in the picture, these three are in a love tree-angle. 
> 
> Anyways, have a little bit of angst and some platonic Kleinsen!

It was Friday now and Evan couldn’t believe that it was only Monday when he and Connor started this whole tutoring thing. It just became so natural to do this throughout the week. Connor had just left and Evan was exhausted. He flopped down on his bed and he landed on something that definitely not his mattress. He got up and looked to see what it was. Connor’s notebook. He must have forgotten it. 

Normally, Evan would wait until the next day to give it to him, but it’s Friday and so there’s no school tomorrow, so he can’t give it to him then. And he can’t bring it to the Murphy’s house tomorrow because he’ll be at Jared’s house. So it had to be now. Evan groaned internally and put his shoes on. Now he had to go and walk to the Murphy’s house.  
It was cold out and Evan wished he’d brought a jacket, but he persisted. Finally, he reached the house. He knocked and Cynthia opened the door. “Evan! It’s been awhile since we’ve seen you!” She smiled brightly at him. “What brings you here?” She asked, opening the door wider so Evan could enter.

“Oh, um, Connor forgot his notebook at my house.” He said, holding said notebook up as proof.

“I see. Well, he should be upstairs.” Cynthia told him. A ding sounded. “Oh, that must be the chicken!” She went to go check on it.

Evan headed upstairs. He was concerned to find he could hear yelling, becoming louder as he climbed further. When he made it up he found the source of the shouting. Zoe was screaming at Connor and Evan didn’t know what to do. So he stood there awkwardly, wishing he knew how to stop this.

“After what you did to me-” Zoe began. 

“Zoe…” Connor attempted. 

“No, don't ‘Zoe’ me! You know what you did!” Zoe was mad.

“Zoe, that was in the past!” Connor reasoned. “Stop dwelling on it!” 

“Don’t act like it was all that long ago! It hasn’t even been a year!” Zoe cried.

“That doesn’t matter!” Connor started to yell too. “It’s been long enough! It’s not like this was last week!”

“It does matter! And you can’t expect me to just forget about it! After all you put me through, you can’t tell me you are not still the _monster_ that I knew!” Connor was silent.  
And that’s when they noticed the new presence in the room.

“Evan…” Zoe seemed ready to apologize, but Connor walked up and grabbed Evan’s arm, pulling him away. “Connor what the _fuck_ do you think you’re doing!”

“Evan doesn’t deserve to have to witness this bullshit so I’m taking him away from all this crap.” Connor responded, still trying to get Evan to move from his spot.

“Woah, woah, woah!” Zoe intervened, grabbing onto Evan’s other arm. “You’re not taking him anywhere! He’s _my_ boyfriend, so _I’m_ taking him with _me_ to get away from _you_!” They both pulled on Evan’s arms and Evan felt like he was being torn apart.

“STOP!” He screeched. The two immediately realize what they’ve done and let go.

“Evan, I’m so sorry!” Zoe looked like she was about to cry. “I didn’t mean to-”

“Evan, are you hurt? Did we hurt you? Are you okay?” Connor shot out rapidly, checking Evan for bruises. Zoe was shocked to see Connor being so caring.

“I-I’m fine, Connor.” Evan reassured him. “But you two obviously aren’t.” He looked at both of them.

“Evan-” Zoe started.

“I just think if you could sit down and talk-” Evan continued.

“Evan, I- I can’t.” Zoe shook her head.

“Why not?”

“I- I-” She sighed. “Maybe later, Evan. But not right now.” She turned and went into her room, slamming the door. Evan tried to follow, but Connor put a hand on Evan’s shoulder, gently. 

“Just drop it. She’s going to want to be alone right now.” Connor advises. Evan nodded, feeling useless.

“Hey, um…” Connor’s voice was quiet. “Can we go somewhere?” Evan was somewhat shocked by this. In his experience, Connor didn’t ask to go place. He’d been dragging Evan to random places since he’s known him. But something in Connor’s timid voice made Evan think this is different.

“Of course.” Evan responded. Connor took Evan’s hand and they left. “Where are we going?” Evan asked, not really expecting an answer like usual.

“The orchard.” Connor replied. “It’s, well, it’s kind of a safe place for me.” He admitted and Evan felt honored to be invited to go to Connor’s safe space. Again.

They reached the apple orchard and sat down in the same field from before. They had decided to walk since it wasn’t all that far from Connor’s house and Connor really wasn’t in the mindset to drive. They just sat there in silence for a minute before Connor began to speak.

“She hates me.” 

“I-I’m sure she doesn’t-” Evan tried to dismiss Connor’s thought.

“No, she does. And I deserve it.”

“What? You don’t des-” Evan tried again.

“ _No Evan I fucking do!_ ” Connor snapped and Evan flinched. “Sorry.” Connor apologised.  
Connor sighed and began to explain.“I hurt her. I did some pretty shitty things. I- I’m not going to give you any details, but I said some fucked up shit to her. I was really messed up. I was so angry at- at _everything_ and I took it out on the person closest to me. Her. Did you know we used to be best friends when we were little? I really fucked that up, didn’t I?” Connor laughed without any humor in it. “I aimed all the hatred I had at her. I told her all the thing I was telling myself. ‘You’re ugly, everyone hates you, _you don’t deserve to live_ ’. I didn’t mean that. I loved her. I still love her. But aiming it at someone else was easier than facing it myself.” He paused, taking a shaky breath. “But eventually it got to me and _I couldn’t take it_ so I-” Connor choked out a sob. He didn’t even realize he was crying. He looked over at Evan, who was also crying. Like, _ugly crying_.  
Evan sniffled and wrapped Connor in a hug. Connor instantly returned it, feeling slightly better. Soon both of their shoulders were soaked in tears.  
“Everybody hates me.” Connor whispered. Evan’s hand tightened in Connor’s hoodie.

“I don’t hate you.” Evan replied, softly.

“You should. _I do_.” Evan pushed Connor away to look into his eyes.

“You are amazing, okay? You are a wonderful person. You’re my best friend and one of the best things to happen to me.” He tells Connor, meaning every word.

“We’ve only been friends for like a week…” Connor reminded him.

“It doesn’t matter, it’s still true.” Evan said with finality. He took his hands off Connor’s shoulders but Connor caught Evan’s wrists before he could totally pull away.

“C-can you…” Connor was blushing. “Can you keep h-holding me?” Evan’s response was engulfing Connor in another big hug. But even with Connor’s arms around him, Evan was cold. He was seriously regretted not bringing a jacket now.

“Hey, are you okay?” Connor asked and Evan realized he was shivering.

“O-Oh, y-yeah. I’m j-just, c-c-cold.” Evan got out through chattering teeth.

“Shit, dude you look like you’re freezing!” Connor commented, seeing just how hard Evan was shaking. “One sec.” Connor starting taking off his hoodie.

“Wait, what are you doing?”

“I’m giving you my hoodie. You look like you’re going to turn into ice, man.” Connor was holding the black hoodie out towards Evan.

“B-but, aren’t y-you gonna g-get cold?”

“I’m fine, just put it on before you freeze!” Connor told him and Evan relented. He slid it on and instantly felt warmer. It was kind of big on Evan but it was still warm and comfortable.

“Thanks.” Evan smiled and gave Connor another hug.

“No problem.” Connor replied, encasing Evan with his arms.

They sat like that for a while.

~~~

Evan’s alarm clock beeped loudly in his ear. He quickly shut it off and got up, stretching. He glanced at the time. Oh no. It was 11:30 and he had told Jared he’d be over at 12:00! Evan rushed to finish packing his essentials and double and tripled check he had it all. Normally, he would do this all the night before so he didn’t have to worry but he was out late with Connor and by the time he got back he was so tired he just passed out. Not wanting to be late, Evan didn’t even change into different clothes or eat breakfast, he just rushed out the door, locking it behind him of course, and ran to Jared’s house.

Thankfully, he made it on time and when Jared opened the door for him, he had rolled his eyes at Evan for being there exactly at 12:00. “Don’t you know the term ‘fashionably late?” He had told him, teasingly. Of course that was when he noticed something was off with Evan.  
“Dude, since when did you have that? Like I know you own some hoodies, but this one swallows you whole!” Jared inquired, pointing at Evan’s chest. Evan looked down, confused and his face heated up when he remembered he was still wearing Connor’s hoodie. Connor had insisted he wear it so he didn’t die of frostbite on the way home.

“O-oh. Um. I-it’s not mine.” Evan explained. “I forgot the jacket the other day so Connor let me borrow his…”

“Connor? Connor Murphy? School-shooter Connor Murphy?”

“That’s not funny, Jared. He- He’s not a school-shooter.” Evan fiddled with the sleeve of Connor’s hoodie.

“Wait, are you actually friends with him? I know you’re dating his sister and all but really?” Jared stifled a laugh.

“Shut up, you don’t know anything about him!” Evan snapped. Jared stopped laughing.

“Dude, hold up a second, are you defending him?”

“Of course I am! He’s my best friend and I’d appreciate if you didn’t say mean things about him!” Jared’s face fell.

He mumbled something under his breath, and then to Evan, “Ok, chill, I won’t diss your new bestie.” Evan sighed in relief.

“But I will say, him giving you his jacket is pretty gay.” Jared wiggled his eyebrows.

“S-shut up Jared!”

Jared suggests they play video games and Evan is totally on board with that until Jared brings out a horror game.

“Oh no no no no no. J-Jared you know I hate g-games like that!” Evan protested.

“Come on, there’s not even any jump scares in it! You just fight zombies! And it’s like a really old school game so the graphics aren’t the best.The zombies won’t be scary-looking! ” Jared reasoned.

“I-I don't care. I refuse to play…” Evan looked at the title of the game, “Apocalypse of The Damned.”

“Dude, come on!” Jared begged. Evan gave him puppy dog eyes. “Don’t you even dare, Evan!” Evan widened his eyes further. “Ev, don’t do this to me.” Evan stuck out his bottom lip. “Ugh, fine, I’ll play it alone! It’s better as a two-player game but whatever. I already have a save file for a single-player game on here. You can go play Pokemon or something!”  
Evan sighed and opened his bag, glad he brought his 3DS with him. Evan was kind of disappointed. Sure, he didn’t want to play that particular game, but he still wanted to play a game with Jared instead of doing separate things. Even if the two weren’t ‘friends’, that didn’t mean Evan didn’t enjoy spending time with Jared, no matter how much of an asshole Jared could be sometimes.

After a few hours, Evan was tired of the endless cycle of losing to the Elite Four and training up his Pokemon just to lose again. From where he was lying on the floor, Evan glanced up at Jared who sitting on the couch, intensely focused on his game. He suddenly stood up and fist-pumped. “Aw yeah, Level Eight completed! Now onto Level Nine: The Cafetorium!” 

“Jared, I’m bored.” Evan complained, rolling onto his back.

“Well, the offer’s still open if you want to play with me…” Jared swung the second remote, invitingly.

“No.” Evan glared at Jared. Jared groaned and gave up, throwing the remote back on the couch cushion beside him. Jared was about to go back to his game and Evan panicked, knowing if Jared started the next level, Evan wouldn’t be able to get through to Jared until the level was complete. “Jared why can’t we be actual friends?” He blurted out. 

Jared whipped his head towards Evan. He gaped at Evan. Evan was just going to take it back and forget this ever happened when Jared finally spoke. “I’ve always thought of you as a real friend.” It was so quiet that Evan could barely hear it over the game in the background.

“B-but you always say-”

“I know! I know! But…” Jared trailed off. Evan had never seen Jared like this. He was… shy? No, not shy…. Worried. Why was he worried?

“I- I didn’t think you would actually want to be friends with me. Y-you deserve better friends than me anyways. S-so, I sort of pushed you away. ‘C-Cause then maybe you’d be inspired to make new friends.” It was like a gate was opened and Jared couldn’t stop the flood of words coming out. “B-but I still wanted to be your friend, so I was selfish and told you we were ‘family friends’ and that I needed to hang out with you because of my parents. A-and of course you’d feel guilty if you didn’t help me out because you’re you and I’m sorry for guilt-tripping you. I-I’m sorry for everything!” Evan was shocked. He didn’t know what to say. What do you even say after that? Unfortunately, Jared took Evan’s silence as a bad thing. “F-Forget what I said.” 

“N-no no no, Jared, I- I just don’t know how I’m supposed to respond to that.” Evan admitted. Evan now realized what Jared looked so worried about. He was worried that Evan was going to judge him. “Jared, listen, I- I forgive you. I really don’t think you’re a bad guy, y-you just don’t know how to show it. It w-would have been nice if you didn’t l-lie to me a-and it definitely hurt whenever you said we weren’t really friends, but I still really like hanging out with you.”

“Even though I’m a big douchebag to you sometimes?” Jared asked.

“Even though you’re a big douchebag sometimes.” Evan confirmed. Jared look like he was going to cry. Evan didn’t think he’d ever seen Jared cry before. It was kind of.. Unnerving. But it was also a relief to see a softer side of Jared.

“Y-you know, my parents were never buying things for me. I don’t even have a car. Why would I need car insurance? I’m surprised you never noticed and called me out on my bullshit. My parents can’t even afford to buy me junk, anyways.” Now that the floodgates were open, Jared apparently had to keep sharing all the things he’d kept hidden. “W-we’re sorta broke. T-that’s why I got a job. Did I tell you I got a job?”

“No. Where do you work?”

“Oh, I work at Lush.”

“I thought you were banned from there.”

“Oh, yeah, I was. I actually started working there to pay off my debts to them, but I continued working because I needed the money.” He shrugged and then smirked. “And also because of the employee discount.”

“Yeah. You know, no one cares what you do with your bath bombs in your free time but you should know better than to start voring a dozen bath bombs before paying for them.” Evan told Jared.

Jared gasped. “My sweet precious innocent child knows what voring is?”

“You taught me.” Evan reminded him, shuddering at the memories that came with it.

“Oh yeah! You were definitely scarred for life after that one!” Jared laughed.

After that, everything pretty much went back to normal, except there was an underlying understanding between them and maybe it was just Evan, but Jared seemed happier. Evan felt happier too. That night, Connor had texted Evan.  
Evan smiled widely. Connor finally texted him!

From: Conifer Murphy _Hey, I just realized I said I’d text you and then never did. Sorry._

From: Evangreen _Oh, it’s okay. I mean, you’re texting me now, right?_

Once the first text was sent, they didn’t stop coming. They probably were texting for hours. But, that’s really just a guess. Evan didn’t really know how long it had been when Jared’s voice made him jump in surprise. Somehow he totally forgot he was still at Jared’s house.  
“Dude, you are addicted to your phone.”

Focused on sending a reply to Connor in response to a cat gif the taller boy had sent him, Evan responded, “No, I’m addicted to Connor.”

“Dude. That was probably the gayest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Are you sure you’re not dating him instead of his sister?”

Evan then realized what he said. Flustered, he tried to correct his mistake. “I- I d-didn’t m-mean it l-like that. I- I was d-distracted! I- I just meant th-that it’s n-not my ph-phone that I’m addicted t-to! A-and by that I- I don’t mean to say there is something _else_ I’m addicted to b-besides my phone! But that makes it sound like I am addicted to my phone, which I’m n-not, like I said, I just-” Jared laughed through the whole thing, having to wipe joyful tears out of his eyes when he was finished.

“Okay! Okay! I believe you. But seriously stop texting, it's getting late!” He cut Evan off.

Evan checked the time. “Oh yeah, we should go to sleep.”

“Gay night!” Jared smirked, turning off the light. 

“ _Jared!_ ”

“Oh did I say gay? I meant _good_ night.” Jared corrected sarcastically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys didn't get my totally obvious reference (or should I say re-fir-ence?) then I'm sorry but we can't be friends.
> 
> Speaking of that totally obvious reference though.... I may or may not be working on a BMC Boyf Riends fic. I should be done with it soon, so if you enjoy that ship then keep your eyes peeled for that. ;)


	6. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Murphy siblings talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys may be wondering where Alana was since I put her in the tags but she hasn't shown up yet. WELL HERE SHE IS. Very briefly, but still.

It was Monday again and Evan was sitting with Zoe at their usual lunch table, just talking when he saw Jared approaching. He waved at him and Jared smiled. Zoe looked over her shoulder to see who Evan was waving to and Jared’s face immediately switched into a cocky one that was more familiar to them. Jared walked over with swagger and plopped down next to Evan.

“I’ve decided to grace you with my presence.” He announced to the two. Zoe rolled her eyes. 

“Thanks, your highness.” She gave a small bow, jokingly. 

“Hey!” Zoe jumped at the voice that came from behind her. She looked back at Alana. “Zoe, you signed up to be a counselor at Summer camp, right?” Zoe nodded. “Well, I’m sorry this had to go into your lunch, but the counselors are having a little meeting right now so that you have all the information you need for when you go. It really shouldn’t take that long, so you’ll be back here in no time!” Alana told her. 

“Oh, okay. Well, see you.” Zoe gave Evan a kiss on the cheek and left with Alana, leaving Evan with a red face. No matter how long he’d been with Zoe, he still couldn’t handle public displays of affection. Especially when Jared was waggling his eyebrows at him, saucily. Evan quickly changed the topic.

“Hey, did you just ditch your other friends to sit here because I don’t want to take you away from them and-” Evan started but stopped when he saw Jared’s face fall.

“Since I’ve already spilled my soul to you I might as well tell you I never had any other friends. I made them up.” Jared admitted, not looking Evan in the eye.

“W-what? S-so you’ve been having lunch alone all this time?”

“W-well, yeah…”

“Ohmygosh I’m so sorry!”

“Evan, why are you apologizing? I did this to myself.”

“B-but I feel bad that you had to sit alone.”

“It’s not that bad, actually. You can eat a lot more when you don’t have anyone to talk to.”

“You have to sit with me everyday now.” Evan told him, forcefully. Then he realized maybe that was too demanding and retracted into himself a bit. “W-well, I mean, if you want to.”

“Evan, what are you even saying? Of course I’m not going to deny you of my presence any longer. I’ve done it for so long. It’s obvious you feel deprived of having someone so insanely cool in your life.” Jared delivered dramatically. Evan felt his lips twitch up. It was fun having Jared around again.

Evan didn’t have Chemistry today so he didn’t see Connor until the end of the day. Even though Evan had still been texting Connor all throughout the weekend, he hadn’t seen him in person since Friday and he was excited to see his face again. ...Was that weird? Before Evan could think about that too much, he rounded the corner to see Connor was already at Evan’s locker. He seemed deep in thought and Evan wasn’t sure he should disturb him but Connor had apparently sensed Evan’s presence.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“You looked like you were thinking pretty hard there…” Oh no what if Connor didn’t want to talk about it? Why did Evan say that?

“Yeah. It’s just…” Connor sighed. “Zoe still won’t talk to me. I mean, I should be used to it, but ever since you’ve mentioned us talking, that’s all I want to do.”

“O-oh. Well, maybe I could try and talk her into having that conversation with you.” 

“I’d honestly really appreciate that.” Connor said, with so much sincerity that Evan felt warm with it. “I just wish I could tell her…” Connor trailed off.

“T-Tell her what?”

“Everything. That I’m sorry. That I want to go back to being best friends. That she’s everything to me. But right now we’re a million worlds apart.”

“I’m going to make sure you get to say all those things to her.” Evan promised.

“Thanks.” Connor smiled at him. “But enough with this feelings crap, let’s go.”

Evan is glad Connor is driving him because it’s raining pretty hard today and Evan forgot his umbrella. The splattering of rain Evan could hear hitting the top of the car was comforting, which is weird because normally it would have the opposite effect, making Evan worry that a storm was coming. Seemingly reading his mind, Connor spoke. “Wow, it’s raining really hard. Do you think there’s going to be a storm?”

“M-maybe…” Evan really hoped not. 

Connor parked the car and the two had to race to the door to avoid getting soaked. Once they were inside, they both took off their jackets, which reminded Evan that he still needed to give back Connor his hoodie. He quickly grabbed it and handed it to Connor.

“Thanks again for letting me borrow it.”

“Like I said, it’s not a big deal.” Connor shrugged. “That what friends do, right?”

Evan smiled. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Anyways, so what do you want to start with today. I got math, english, his-” Connor was cut off by a crack of thunder. Evan jumped ten feet off the ground. “Aw, sweet, there is a storm!” Connor exclaimed, going to peek out of Evan’s window to see the lightning. He was so excited he almost didn’t notice how hard Evan was shaking.

“Dude, are you okay?” Connor asked, moving away from the window to sit down next to where Evan was huddled on the floor.

“Y-yeah. I- I just am terrified of thunderstorms.” Evan flinched when the thunder boomed again. Connor frowned. He loved thunderstorms, so he didn’t really get why people were so afraid of them, but Connor couldn’t just sit there while his only friend was shaking on the ground.

He decided the best way to battle fear was with comedy. “I like to think lighting and thunder is just Zeus farting.” Evan looked up at Connor in confusion. “I mean, he’s the guy that controls lighting, right? And the thunder is just the sound of him letting it rip.” Connor smiled when Evan let out a little laugh. Connor continued to make up stories about where thunderstorms come from, each one getting a bigger laugh out of Evan until they both were rolling on the floor with laughter. It was as the laughter was dying down that they realized the storm had stopped.

They never got any studying done that day.

Evan was trying to figure out how to bring up the subject of talking to Connor to Zoe when she sat down right next to him. “O-oh hey, Zoe!” He probably said that too forcefully.

“Evan are you okay?” Zoe looked worried.

“Of course, I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be fine?”

“Evan, you know you can tell me whatever’s on your mind.” Zoe coaxed. Evan was silent. “Evannnnnnnn.” Zoe begged. Evan twitched. “You don’t have to say anything if you don’t   
want to but I just thought you looked like you did so-” 

“ _Please talk to Connor_.” Evan finally bursted.

“What?” Zoe almost looked offended.

“I- I mean… um… I think you two could get along again if you could only just sit and talk it out. Let him explain his side of things. Let him show you that he’s changed. I- I totally get w-why you wouldn’t want to talk to him, b-but you should at least t-try, right?” Evan explained.

Zoe sighed. “What you’re saying _sounds_ logical, but I just don’t know if I can.”

“Of course you can!” Zoe looked at him sadly, so he continued. “I think you can be brave enough to face him. All you have to do is listen to him!”

“Well, when you put it that way it sounds so easy.” Zoe laughed. “You know what? I can do this. M-maybe you’re right. Maybe is has changed. I mean, you are the most timid person I have ever met, yet you spend every day tutoring him! Plus, I trust you so if you say he’s ok, then I’ll give him a chance.” Evan lit up at her words.

“Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!” Evan hugged her.

“Woah! You don’t have to thank me! It’s nothing really!”

“No, Zoe, it’s everything.” Evan looked her in the eye, totally serious.

“Um… okay?” Zoe said, confused as to why Evan was so invested in her and Connor’s relationship.

“ _Connor_!” Evan shouted when the boy walked into class. Connor jumped. He wasn’t used to Evan yelling. Actually, no one ever was used to Evan yelling. Everyone was looking at Evan now, and suddenly Evan was very self conscious.

“Uh, s-sorry...” Evan apologized.

“Hey, Evan. Why the screaming?” Connor greeted. Evan’s smiled widely.

“I convinced Zoe to talk to you!” Evan declared, proud of himself. 

“Dude, really?” Connor had a grin of his own slowly creeping onto his face. Evan nodded. “I’m so happy I could kiss you right now!”

Evan froze, face turning red. “W-what?’ He meekly asked. Connor realized what he said and cleared his throat.

‘I mean, n-not actually, th-that would be weird, ‘c-cause you’re dating my sister and- um… It’s just an expression. S-seriously, you didn’t have to freak out about it. Now we’re both awkward!” 

Evan let his face return to his normal color. “Y-yeah. Y-you’re right. I’m sorry. I just- I didn’t expect that.”

“Chill. It’s okay. I shouldn’t have even said that. It just… came out, you know?”

“Y-yeah. I’ve blurted out my fair share of things that I regret.” Evan cringed at some of the memories.  
At that, the bell rang and class begun. The two took their seats next to each other and they were silent the rest of class.

By the end of the day, Connor was panicking. Evan immediately noticed this. Connor wasn’t really paying attention to where he was going, and he almost ran straight into Evan. 

“Sorry.” Connor lifted his head to look up from his feet. Evan gave him a concerned look and Connor started spilling his anxieties.

“When does she want to talk? Right now after school? Should we go to my house for studying or should we just not do it today? What if I mess up and she never forgives me?” He goes on and on.

“Connor.” Evan spoke gently and Connor stopped. “Why don’t we just go to your house today? If she doesn’t want to talk immediately, that’s okay. But if she does, I’ll be there for you.” Evan reached out his hand slowly to Connor, allowing Connor to back away if he wanted to. He grabbed Connor’s hand. “Okay?” Connor nodded, interlocking their fingers.

“GAY!” Jared yelled, ruining the moment. Evan groaned.

“You have the worst timing ever, J.” Evan glared at Jared.

“I beg to differ.” Jared wiggled his eyebrows at them and Evan realized he never let go of Connor’s hand. He quickly dropped it, but not without seeing how Connor’s face fell when he did.

“Jared, we were talking about something serious.” Evan explained. Jared saw the look on Evan’s face and dropped his smirk.

“Sorry. But, uh, I gotta go now. Can’t miss my bus! Remember that time when we both missed the bus together and you cried?” He asked Evan. Evan gave him another death stare. 

“Yeah, yeah, ‘We don’t talk about that!’” Jared mocked. “But seriously, I gotta go. See ya, Ev!” Jared sprinted away.

“So, is that why you’re terrified of the bus?” Connor teased.

“It was scary, okay!” Evan defended.

Connor hesitantly knocked on Zoe’s door. He looked back at Evan, and Evan tried to give him his best comforting smile. He’s pretty sure it worked because Connor seemed to calm down slightly. Zoe opened the door. She didn’t actually expect Connor to be home so soon, but she decided talking now is better than later. Evan gave Connor a look, silently asking if he wanted Evan to stay to support him. Connor shook his head and suggested that Evan waited in his room.  
Evan waited in Connor’s room, getting more and more nervous the longer he was there. He couldn’t hear any screaming from the other room, so it couldn’t be bad, right? Still, Evan couldn’t help but worry as he paced around the room. And then, Zoe’s bedroom door opened.

“D-did it go okay?” Evan asked Connor as he stepped out into the hallway.

“Um, yeah. I mean, I think? She listening to me at least.” Evan could tell Connor had been crying. He wouldn’t be surprised if Zoe had been too. “I- I think she just needs more time.”

“W-well, um, that’s good, uh, that she listened? I mean, I really think she could forgive you she j-just needs to, um, process?”

Connor walked into his room and flopped out on his bed. “Ugh. That was so emotionally draining I don’t think I could do any work right now.”

“O-oh, well. Sh-should I go, then? S-since I don’t really have a reason to be here anymore?” Evan started slowly getting closer to the door.

“No. Don’t go.” Connor sat up. “Can we just hang out? Or something? I don’t know, I just…”

“Okay.” Evan agreed, sitting down next to Connor. “What exactly do you want to do?” Connor shrugged, picking at the last remaining bits of his nail polish.

“I should really repaint these…” He muttered to himself.

“Well, we could do that!” Evan offered.

“Do what?” Connor glanced up at Evan.

“Paint nails.” Connor looked surprised when Evan said that.

“You actually want to paint your nails with me?” He questioned, disbelievingly.

“Yeah. I mean, why not?” 

Connor had gotten out all of his nail polish, which was all dark colors. He didn’t really have that many in the first place. “Sorry I don’t have many colors. I like darker colors and so I don’t really have any light colors, like, at all. I’d normally say you could get some other colors from Zoe, but I’d say it’s best if we leave her alone for now.” Evan nodded in agreement. “So, uh, you can just choose from these I guess. If you don’t like it, you can take it off.”   
Evan looked over at all the colors but the one that caught his eye was probably the lightest one of them all. The nail polish was still a fairly dark color, just not _as_ dark as the others. It was a prussian blue color. Evan picked it up and looked at Connor.

“That one?” Connor pointed to the bottled and Evan hummed in confirmation. Connor picked out a plum color for himself and started working on Evan’s nails.

Once Connor was done, Evan examined his nails. “You’re really good at this.” Evan pointed out.

“You think so?” Connor had started painting his own nails. “That was the first time I have painted someone else’s nails.”

“Well, I think it looks good.” Evan paused. “Does it suit me? Like, it looks good, but I’m not sure how well I pull it off. I have pudgy fingers and-”

Connor looked up from his hand. “You look great with nail polish, Evan.”

“O-oh. Okay.” Evan blew air on his hands, trying to get the nail polish to dry faster. “Thanks.” He added quietly.

He sat and watched Connor finish his nails and then the two chatted until Evan needed to go home. For a day filled with so much anxieties, it was a pretty great day in the end. Then again, didn’t Evan think that about every day he spent with Connor?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the most interesting chapter and definitely not the best but oh well.
> 
> Anyways, remember that BMC fic I mentioned? If you haven't seen that and you wanted to read it then here it is: http://archiveofourown.org/works/13501440
> 
> Also I may or have may not already started a new one... I can't help it I love my bois.
> 
> BUT WAIT! You can't forget about your complimen-tree pun!


	7. Flower Bois

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys have some bad days, but it's okay because they have each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I just got a solo in You Will Be Found in choir so I'm feeling pretty good right now.

Evan wasn’t having the best day. At least it was Thursday so the week was almost over but things just weren’t going good today. Evan had messed up in class in front of everyone, Zoe was really off today because she was still processing so she kind of ended up ignoring Evan, and Jared got sick so Evan didn’t even have him to talk to. At least he had Chemistry today. He used to get really anxious about that class, but ever since Connor joined, he looked forward to whenever he had it. He really did like Chemistry and he was good at it. He enjoyed Environmental Science more, but Chemistry was fun too.

Only, Chemistry didn’t go very well either. He accidentally spilled one of the chemicals. Thankfully, it wasn’t a really harmful chemical, but he was still mortified. The teacher had to go get some more so that he and Connor could finish the lab, leaving Evan standing there with his head ducked in shame.

“You look like you’re not having a good day, huh?” Connor commented. Evan just nodded, sadly. 

“I’ve been messing things up all day and lunch sucked because I was completely ignored with no one to actually talk to!” Evan told Connor, still looking down at his shoes.

“Evan, we all mess up sometimes! Anyone could have spilled a chemical! Heck, I almost did that three times today!” Connor tried to cheer Evan up.

“But no one else did! _I_ did! I messed up because I can’t do anything right!” Evan cried. Connor looked at him and decided he had to do something.

Evan was waiting at his locker for longer than usual that day. He was starting to get worried that Connor wasn’t even going to show up. Did he do something wrong? Was he complaining too much? Did Connor not want to be around someone like Evan who just messed up everything?

But then Connor ran up to him, out of breath. “S-sorry I’m late.” He was breathing really heavily. “Let’s go.”

At the door of his house, Evan reached into his bag to grab his keys. Only, they weren’t there. Evan frantically searched his bag. He can’t have lost them! He needs those.  
“Hey, Ev, what’s wrong?” Connor asked, worried.

“I c-can’t find my keys!” Evan was very close to crying. This had to be the worst day ever.

“Oh, fuck, right.” Connor swiftly went and pulled out Evan’s keys from the pocket of his hoodie.

“W-what? Why do you have my keys?” Evan inquired, totally confused.

“Because I pickpocketed them off you at the end of Chemistry.”

“Why would you do that?!” Evan screeched.

“Because it was easier than trying to pick your lock.” Connor gestured at the door.

“ _Why were you trying to get into my house?_ ”

“Well, you were feeling down today so I wanted to do something nice.”

“ _BY BREAKING INTO MY HOUSE?!?_ ”

Connor sighed. “Just go inside and you’ll see.” He tossed Evan his keys. Evan looked from Connor to the door before reluctantly putting in his keys and opening the door. Evan looked around for any signs of change but everything was the same.  
“It’s in your room, by the way.” Connor said, walking ahead of Evan. Evan followed behind, nervous for what he was about to see. He didn’t know what he was expecting but it wasn’t this.

Evan’s room was filled with post-it notes. “W-what is this?” He looked back at Connor who now had a sight red flush to his face.

“They’re all the things I like about you.”  
Evan looked closer at the sticky notes and sure enough, they all said something nice about Evan. The first few he read said things like ‘Your smile’ and ‘You make my day better’ and even ‘I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else in the world’.

Blushing, Evan looked around the room again. “B-but there are so many…”

“Yep. Because there are so many things I like about you.” Connor told Evan. “Fuck, this is sappy as shit.” He added as an afterthought.

“Wait, wh-when did you even do this?”

“I may have skipped my last period…”

“B-but-”

“Hey, I’m going to have to do Summer school anyways, might as well do something nice for the one person who actually likes me.” Evan felt so overwhelmed that he started crying. “Woah, woah, woah! Why are you crying?! This was supposed to be a good thing!”

Evan wiped his face. “N-no. I’m just s-so happy. N-no one’s ever d-done something like this for me b-before”

“Well I've never done anything like this before either, so…” Connor trailed off and rubbed the back of his neck. “Um, yeah. I just… I saw something like this online and thought I could… I don't know.” Connor gives up trying to string together a sentence.

“If this is what you do on just a bad day, I'd love to see what you’ll do on a terrible day.” Evan joked, wiping his eyes.

 

Soon enough, it’s Connor who’s having a bad day. Connor aggressively erased the work he did on his paper. Evan has explained how to do the math problem 20 times by now but Connor struggled to get it.  
“O-okay, s-so, that time the part you messed up on-” Evan started but stopped when Connor rubbed his eraser into the paper so hard it ripped. “O-oh. U-um…. I’m s-sure we could fix that.”

“This is so frustrating!” Connor cried, throwing his hands in the air. “I hate this! I hate everything! I hate everyone!” 

“E-everyone?” Evan asked, hating how his voice cracked.  
Connor sighed. “Everyone but you.” He admitted. ”Sorry, it’s just…” He trailed off so Evan nodded at him to continue, “Okay, well, my parents have been fighting and Zoe was really pissy today. She yelled something about hating being a female so I’m pretty sure she’s on her period. Now, I can’t do this fucking math problem even though I should fucking know this and I’ve done it a billion fucking times over now!”

“I wish I knew how to help.” Evan said. “I mean, you really helped me the other day and you did a really nice thing but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do and now I feel like a bad friend and-”

“Having a panic attack sure isn’t going to help me.” Connor deadpanned.

Evan cringed.“Oh, s-sorry.”

“Seriously, you don’t need to apologize. If you really want to help you could…” Connor paused to think about it. “Distract me. Get my mind off of these things that are frustrating me.” 

“Where’d you get so smart about helping people?” Evan asked, curious. Connor look down at his shoes.

“Rehab, I guess. I mean, there was lots of different types of therapy there and sometimes a certain type of therapy doesn’t work for a specific person but, uh, yeah...”

Evan nodded. “Okay, so we’ll do something else!” He looked around the room and frowned. Then he got an idea. Connor watched as Evan grabbed a whole bunch of things out of a drawer and place in on the ground and then gestured for Connor to sit on the ground with him.

“What is all this?” He glanced at the stuff on the ground. “Are those fake flowers?”

“Yep! We could also go pick some real flowers if you want but this way they’ll last longer.” Evan picked up a faux flower and twirled it in his hand.

“What will last longer?” 

“We’re going to be making flower crowns!” Evan exclaimed.

“And you just have all of this stuff around? Do you do this often?”

“Ah, well, yeah. It’s kind of a hobby of mine. I don’t really get to do it too often though because there’s no one to make them for.” Evan explained. “I mean, Jared has a few and so do I. I gave Zoe one, once.”

“Wait, was it made of purple flowers?” Connor inquired.

“Um, yeah…”

“I’ve seen her wearing that. You made that? Dude, I thought she got it from a store. You’re actually pretty good at this!” Evan flushed under the praise.

“I- I’ve just been practicing. I definitely made a lot of mistakes in the beginning.” Evan told him, modestly. He reached down and took one of the floral wires. Evan began teaching Connor how to make a flower crown, demonstrating as he went.  
Connor tried to follow along but ended up with a really messy looking flower crown. Meanwhile, Evan had made a beautiful flower crown. All of the flowers on it looked to be carnations in different shades of red and pink. Connor’s on the other hand was made of whatever flowers he randomly picked up. Basically, Evan’s was color-coordinated and clean while Connor’s looked like someone just threw up a bunch of flowers. (Connor thinks he read a story about someone throwing up flowers because of a disease once...)

“Now we trade!” Evan declared, placing his flower crown on Connor’s head.

“But the one I made looks like trash!” Connor protested.

Evan examined said flower crown. “No it doesn’t!”

“Yeah it does. It’s terrible compared to yours.”

Evan swiftly placed the flower crown on his own head. “Well, I love it!”

Connor tried to snatch it off of Evan’s head but Evan quickly stood up.

“Come on, let me try again! I could do so much better than that!” Connor was standing too now, trying to steal the flower crown once more but Evan ducked away. 

“I’m sure you could but I already claimed this flower crown.” Evan ran across the room, evading another one of Connor’s attempt to swipe the crown.

“Evan…” Connor whined.

“Nope! I love this flower crown. Me and it are getting married and if you don’t accept us, then you’re not invited to the wedding.” Evan announced, dramatically. Connor rolled his eyes and gave up.

Playing along, Connor gasped. “What about Zoe? Have you forgotten about her already!”

“Alas, my heart belongs to this flower crown now! I wasn’t expecting it but it just came into my life and stole my breath away! There was no way of preventing this inevitability that I would fall madly in love with it!” Evan feigned swooning, falling onto his bed. The two boys then started laughing uncontrollably. 

“Dude, your ‘’true love’ fell off your head and onto the floor while we were laughing.” Connor pointed out after the laughing fits were done.

“No! My love!” Evan practically dived off the bed to get it and Connor started giggling once more.

“Seriously,” He said between his laughs, “I’m going to have abs after this because of all this laughing.”

“Well then, my job has been completed.” Evan smiled at the taller boy.

“Huh. I guess it has. You really did make my day better, Evan Hansen.” Connor flopped down next to Evan on the bed, happily.

“To be fair, you made my day better as well.” Evan said quietly.

“You were having another bad day?” Connor asked, looking over at him, questioningly.

“No. It was just better because you were here.” Evan responded, genuinely.

They both were silent as Connor let that sentence sink in. “Now _that_ was sappy as fuck.” He concluded.

“Tree sap” Evan whispered.

Connor hit him with a pillow. That was his first mistake. Evan immediately grabbed another pillow and hit him back. Connor snorted. “So it’s like that, huh?”

“Bring it on, Murphy!” Evan jumped to his feet.

“Oh, it’s on, Hansen!”

Connor’s second mistake was underestimating Evan’s skill at pillow fighting. Every time Connor swung at Evan, he only would block Connor’s attack with his own pillow and Connor almost never could get a hit in on him. It was fun nonetheless, but eventually, Connor had to surrender. “I give up, oh mighty warlord of pillows!” He dropped to his knees in defeat.

Evan let out a snicker before getting into character. “That’s right! Bow before me mortal, for I am ruler of this kingdom!”

“Well, it is your bedroom.” Connor pointed out. Evan hit him with his pillow once more.

“Shut up, I’m trying to give my epic winning speech!” He cleared his throat. “As I was saying. I am the ruler of this kingdom and anyone who tries to come and conquer this land will only end up dead or in chains!”

“Kinky.” Connor wiggled his eyebrows from where he was still on his knees on the ground. 

Evan’s face turned pink. “Connor, stop. Your overlord is trying to give a speech!”

“So that’s what you like to be called in bed, huh?” Connor winked.

Evan’s face went from pink to bright red. “C-Connor, wh-why? Y-you can’t just s-say things like that!”

“You’re not denying it.” Connor remarked.

“No, I do not like being called ‘Overlord’ in bed!” Evan shouted back. He promptly realized that he said that really loud and was incredibly grateful no one was home but them.

Connor was wracked with laughter once more. “I can’t believe you just yelled that!” Connor exclaimed. “I wish I had been filming that so I can play it forever!”

“If you don’t stop, I’m hitting you with something that’s not a pillow.” Evan warned.

“Your dick?” Connor guessed, smirking.

“I will fucking fight you.”

Connor gasped. “Wow! I just made the pure, sweet, innocent Evan Hansen say a cuss word! I feel so accomplished!”

“Connor, I will seriously fight you.”

“But you’re so smol and cute.”

“I’m not cute, I’m deadly.” Evan glared up at Connor, who was now resting his arm on Evan’s head.

“Sure, but wouldn’t you rather I make it up to you by getting you icecream?”

“...”

“...”

“...Yes.” Evan muttered quietly.

Connor smiled victoriously. “Well, then let’s go.”

“Okay, but just so you know. I only said yes because I didn’t want to make you feel bad when you lost.”

“Uh-huh. I totally believe you.” Connor nodded. “Now, what flavor do you want?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now introducing Pine-ic! At The Disco with their hit song LA Devo-tree.
> 
> Btw, if you're wondering how I got so good at tree puns, it's heredi-tree.


	8. Carnival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Murphy family goes to a carnival and Evan comes along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm surprised no one called me out on the reference to the Hanahaki AU last chapter. Like, at least one of you must know what that is. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this extra long chapter (it's like 1000 words longer than normal) 
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day!!!

It took a while but Zoe did eventually forgive Connor. She had taken her time to think it over and in all honesty she wanted things to be like the used to just as much as Connor. She had a little trouble separating the Connor who told her all those horrible things from the current one who was trying to make it up to her, but then she remembered when they were kids and they would take turns braiding each other’s hair. She remembered those nights were she would have a nightmare and snuck into Connor’s room and he would hold her until she fell asleep. He had been kind before, and she wanted to believe he could be kind once more. 

He did seem genuinely sorry for everything he did when he apologized and explained everything to her. He hadn’t been mean or angry since he got back. Plus, if he managed not to scare off Evan, then he couldn’t be too bad. So, Zoe forgave him. 

When Zoe told Connor this, he had wrapped her in his arms and cried. She didn’t really expect that, but to be fair, she may have cried a little bit too. The point is that the two Murphy siblings are now friends once more.

Now that they are on good terms, hopefully that will make the upcoming Murphy family outing more enjoyable. There’s a carnival coming to town and the Murphy’s decided that they should go and have some family fun. While the Murphy’s track record for these kinds of things isn’t positive, Zoe still thinks that they could end up having some fun. She is 100% sure they will end up all splitting up in the end, anyways, so she decides it would be the perfect plan to invite Evan and turn it into a date for them. Evan, of course, said yes.

They ended up going later in the day so that they’d still be there when it got dark. That way they’d get to see the lights of all the rides. Plus, it’s usually less crowded.  
When they got there, Zoe immediately pulled Evan to go look at a ring toss game. “Look at that dog!” She pointed to a big dog stuffed animal hanging from a hook above.

“Do you want it?” Evan asked, glancing between it and her.

“Ooh, do you think you could win it for me?” Zoe’s eyes lit up and Evan had a hard time saying no to that. Well, even harder than normal.

“I- I mean, I can try. No promises that I’ll get it. S-so don’t be upset or anything if I can’t do it, o-okay?” Evan absentmindedly wringed his hands together in nervousness.

“Yeah. Really, I don’t care if you do or don’t. I'll have fun today with or without it. So no pressure.” Zoe smiled and Evan felt slightly better.

Zoe paid the man running the stand and Evan felt like he might accidentally drop one of the rings with how sweaty his hands were getting. What if he sucked at this game? What if it slipped out of his hands and flew backwards and hit someone? Evan took a deep breath and tried to clear his thoughts.

He aimed and flung the ring towards a bottle. To his surprise, the ring actually landed around the bottle. “I- I did it! I made it around the bottle!” Evan jumped up and down excitedly and kissed Zoe.

When he pulled back she giggled. “Good job, Evan! But you know you still have more rings to throw, right?”

He sent his gaze back to the rings still on the counter. Oh. Right. Feeling slightly more confident, he threw another and another. Unfortunately, they both missed. In the end, he couldn’t get Zoe the big dog she wanted, but he did get her a smaller dog with a purple handkerchief tied around its neck and she loved it just the same.

Next, they went and got cotton candy. Zoe got a pink one and Evan got blue. They were happily talking while eating their cotton candy and walking down looking at everything when suddenly Evan looked beside him and Zoe was gone. Evan frantically looked all around him but he couldn’t see Zoe anywhere. Should he try and go find her or stay where he is? Aren’t you supposed to stay where you are when you’re lost so they know where to find you? But what if Zoe is doing the same things? Then they’ll never find each other. Evan really wished he had brought his phone with him but it was dying and he didn’t have the time to charge it before he was going over to meet Zoe so he just left it at home.  
Evan was beating himself up over not bringing his phone when he felt a hand on his shoulder and jumped 10 feet in the air. He whipped his head around and sighed in relief when he saw it was none other than Connor Murphy. “Geez, y-you scared me.”

“Sorry.” Connor retracted his hand. “I shouldn’t have come up behind you like that, especially when you looked like you were freaking out.”

“Y-yeah. I- I just lost Zoe and got scared. C-cause what if I never found one of you guys and you totally forgot you brought me and then you left without me and then I’d be all alone in a carnival with a bunch of strangers and I’d probably start crying and then they’d all look at me weird and-” Connor placed his hand back on Evan’s shoulder, cutting him off.

“You don’t need to worry about that. I’d never forget you.” Connor told him, sincerely.

Evan flushed a little.“Oh.” 

“Anyways, there’s no point in standing here waiting for her. It’s a carnival! Let’s go have some fun.” Connor wrapped an arm around Evan’s shoulder and led him towards some attractions. Briefly, Evan wondered if the people around might think he was on a date with Connor instead, but he found he didn’t really mind if they did.  
They passed that one game where you there’s ducks with numbers on the bottom and you have to match them. While they were walking by, Connor leaned in to whisper, “That game’s all about luck. They’re starting kids early on gambling.” Evan snorted and rolled his eyes. Evan might have tried that game, but he didn’t think he had the best luck. Connor’s arm slipped off of Evan’s shoulder as they approached another stand. Evan was just finishing off his cotton candy when they got there.

It was for that one game where you throw darts at balloons. Connor looked inside and no one was even there. “Dude, they just straight up left.” He picked up one of the darts that was used for the game. “It’s one thing to leave the stand unattended, but they left out the darts too!” Connor pressed a finger to the end of the dart. “Not that anyone could probably do anything with these. I doubt these could even pop those balloons. I personality like my darts sharp enough that I could stab myself with them.” He deadpanned.

Evan flinched and quickly grabbed Connor’s hand. He didn’t know if it was more for himself or for Connor. It was easy to forget what Connor had done in the past because even though Evan didn’t really know Connor before, he still could tell he had gotten a lot better but when he said things like that… Evan didn’t know what to do. Maybe he wanted Connor to know he’s here. Maybe he wanted to remind himself that Connor was here and he wasn’t going anywhere. Connor took one look at Evan and set the dart down. “Fuck,  
I’m sorry. That was a really shitty joke to make.” He reached up and wiped a tear from Evan’s face.

Evan hadn’t even realized he was crying. “G-geez, I- I don’t know why I’m crying.” He averted his eyes to the ground. Evan really hated crying in front of people. Connor gently grabbed Evan’s face and lifted it so he was looking at Connor.

“Hey, it’s okay, Evan.” Evan gave him a small smile in return. Before Connor knew what was happening, Evan had his arms around the other boy. 

“Thank you.”

“For what?” 

“I don’t know. Everything. You’re just so nice to me. I don’t deserve you.”

“Evan Hansen, you deserve the world.”

“Well, I don’t want the world. I just want you.” Connor’s face got warm and he was glad Evan couldn’t see how red his face must be right now. You can’t just say things like that to people! Especially people who are just your friends! Evan saying it to Zoe would be one thing but...

“Evan, I don’t deserve _you_.” Evan stepped back from Connor to look at him.

“I’m really sure we could have a full on debate about this that no one is going to win but I’m going to stop this right now and say we’ll agree to disagree.” Then Evan had a thought. “We deserve each other, don’t we, Boq?” He sang.

Connor was stunned for a moment. It was only one line of a song but just from that he could tell Evan had an incredible voice. He then remembered he should probably say something because Evan was starting to look like he was doubting himself and his singing voice so Connor just blurted out, “Was that a Wicked reference?”

“Uh, yeah?” Evan fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

“I love Wicked.”

“Y-you do?” Evan seemed to light up at this.

“Yeah. No One Mourns The Wicked is my favorite song.” Connor told him.

“Mine is No Good Deed.” Evan replied. During this whole time Evan had forgotten that they were still at the carnival so when someone bumped into him he was surprised. “I’m sorry.” He immediately said, even though it wasn’t his fault.

“Want to walk around some more?” Connor asked. Evan nodded. “Do you want to play some of the games or ride some rides?”

Evan shrugged. “Honestly, I’m good with whatever. We could just sit and talk and I’d be happy.”

“Yeah, me too, but we might as well make the most of it while we’re here.” Connor told him, suddenly dragging Evan to a booth once more. This time it was the game where you knock over bottles. “You like any of those?” Connor pointed at the prizes.

“Um…” Evan looked up at them. “That red panda looks cute. I- I like red pandas…” Evan turned to Connor. “Uh, do you like any of them?”

“Probably that black cat.” Connor responded and paid the lady at the stand. Turns out that Connor was really good at this game. He ended up knocking all the bottles down and Evan was extremely impressed. He didn’t think he could do that if he tried himself. Evan expected Connor to get that black cat for himself but he asked the lady for a red panda. Evan was shocked when Connor handed it to him.

“W-what? Why did you win me this? Y-you could have gotten something for yourself. L-like that cat!” Connor shook his head.

“No, it’s fine. I’m good without it. You seemed like you wanted it more than me.” Which was probably true. Evan didn’t say anything but he did really want this.

“Well, it’s your turn if you want to try.” Connor gestured to the stand.

“What?! I can’t go after _that!_ You knocked over all of the cans and in comparison I’m going to look bad.” Evan protested.

“Hey, you don’t have to play if you don’t want to, I was just saying if you _did_ want to, you could.” Evan glanced at up the cat that Connor had been looking at earlier and decided he needed to repay Connor. Even if he didn’t knock down enough bottles to get the cat, he still wanted to win him something in return for the red panda.

“I’ll do it.” Evan said, handing Connor his giant red panda and paid the lady at the booth. Just like he thought, he didn’t knock down as many bottles as Connor. However, he did spot a smaller black cat plushie and he asked for that. Satisfied, Evan gave Connor the little kitten and took back his red panda. Connor smiled.

The two boys went around playing some more games and riding some rides, but then Connor pointed out a booth where they were doing face painting and Evan decided he wanted to do it. Evan sat down at the chair and the woman doing the face painting asked him what he wanted. Evan realized he didn’t think about what he wanted to get before coming over here. Internally panicking, Evan looked at Connor for help. Connor, being the good friend he is, knew exactly what to ask for.

“Could you paint, like, a tree?” Connor asked.

“What kind of tree?” The woman replied, getting her face paint ready.

“Um,” Connor glanced at Evan. “A deciduous tree?”

“What?” The woman looked confused and Connor rolled his eyes.

“A tree that sheds its leaves.” Connor informed her. “Oh and then you can do coniferous tree on me! Which is the ones with the needles, by the way.” He added, sarcastically. The lady glared at him, but started working on the tree on Evan’s face.

After she was done with both of them, they each had a tree painted on their cheeks. “I’m really surprised she didn’t slap me or purposefully mess up my tree.” Connor admitted, watching the lights of the ferris wheel go ‘round. It was dark by now and Connor was sure his parents would try to find them soon so they could go home. However there was one more ride he hadn’t gone on that is crucial to a true carnival experience and he was looking right at it. “You’re not afraid of height, right?”

“Uh, no? I mean, I’ve climbed some pretty high trees, I guess.”

“Good, because we’re going on the ferris wheel.” Connor grabbed Evan’s arm and began running, dragging Evan behind him.

“I’ve never been on a ferris wheel.” Evan said, causing Connor to stop in his tracks, which led Evan to almost running straight into him. 

“What? See, now we’ve got to go!” Connor began walking again, still pulling Evan along with him. He marched right up to the ferris wheel and got in line. When it was their turn, they got up and sat down on the seat. When they got to the top, Evan looked out and had to admit, they had a pretty good view from here. Seeing all the sparkling lights in the moonlight was definitely something to see. Then, Evan decided to look down and _shit_ maybe Evan is scared of heights.

Evan held on tightly to the bar. “Evan, are you okay?” Connor asked, seeing this. “Wait, I thought you said you weren’t afraid of heights.”

“I-I’m not. Well, I’m not when I’m in a tree. I don’t know. Trees make me feel safe. _This_ doesn’t.”

Connor sighed. “What am I going to do with you, Hansen?” He joked before turning serious, “Hey, is there something I could do to make you feel better?”

“Um, well maybe if you hold on to me, I might feel less like I'll fall.” Connor wrapped his arms around Evan in a hug. This isn’t exactly what Evan was thinking when he said ‘hold onto me’ but it definitely made Evan feel safer. They stayed that way until they got back to the ground.

Sure enough, as Connor predicted, the whole Murphy family met up soon after that. As well as… Alana? Turns out, Zoe ran into her after losing Evan and they went around the carnival together.  
“Sorry about wandering off like that, I totally thought you were behind me!” Zoe apologized. “Once I realized you were gone, I sort of panicked. But then I ran into Alana and we looked around a bit but we couldn’t find you, so Alana decided that we should just relax because panicking wasn’t going to help and, well, we kind of got distracted.”

“It’s fine.” Evan told her, clutching onto his red panda.

“Wow, you got enough points in a game to win a big prize for yourself?” Zoe pointed at the plush.

“Oh, no. I wasn’t that good at any of the games we played.”

“Wait, then how’d you get that?” Zoe asked.

“You mean Sequoia?” 

“Sequoia?” 

“Um, the red panda?”

“But you named it Sequoia? What does that even mean?”

“Oh, Giant Sequoia is a type of tree. They’re big- obviously you can tell that from the name- and red so I thought it would be fitting I guess?”

“Big and red? Like a redwood tree?

“Uh, kind of. They’re related but redwoods are different than Sequoias. The scientific name for Redwoods is actually _Sequoia sempervirens_ , while Sequoias are _Sequoiadendron giganteum_. Redwoods are coastal and Sequoias are more inland. Also, Redwoods are slimmer and taller than Sequoias. And, uh, there are more differences but you probably don’t really care.”

“Ok, Sequoias aside, if you didn’t win it, who did?”

“Connor. I said I liked it so he got it.” Evan shrugged. “After I lost you, he found me and he convinced me to try and enjoy the carnival instead of worrying.”

“Well, I’m glad you weren’t alone.” Zoe smiled. “Although, this was supposed to be a date for _us_.” She petted Sequoia and jokingly added, “It’s more like you and Connor are dating than us.” Evan would have laughed but he thought back to when Jared said something similar. Which, of course, they were both joking, but it’s weird that it was said twice, right? 

The Murphy’s dropped off Evan at his house and as soon as he stepped in the house, he could smell his mom cooking. At the sound of the door opening, Heidi popped her head around the corner. “Hello, Evan, sweetie.” She smiled. “I’m just making a quick dinner. I don’t know if you ate while you were out on your date, but it’s been a while since we’ve had dinner together, so I wanted to make something.”

“Thanks, Mom.”  
Soon, Heidi brought out some pasta dish and as she was going to set out the plates, she noticed that Evan was still clutching his giant red panda. “Oh wow, did Zoe win you that red panda?”

“Um, no. Connor did, actually.”

“Connor? I thought you were going on a date with Zoe.”

“Yeah, well, it was a family thing and Zoe invited me along.”

“Oh well that’s nice. But isn’t winning prizes for each other something couples do? Or am I just old schooled?”

“Um, I-I’m sure friends can win each other prizes at a carnival. It is typically a c-couple thing, though.”

“So why didn’t Zoe win you anything?” Evan didn’t know why his mom was pushing this so much.

“Oh, um, she didn’t really have the chance to. I, uh, kinda lost her. But then I ran into Connor and we ended up hanging out all day. So it didn’t quite turn out to be the date I thought it would be. Zoe found Alana there, anyways so it was okay. And I did get to win her something before I lost her so…”

“Well, as long as you had a good day, it’s fine.” Heidi smiled and put down the plates.

Lying in bed, Evan was deep in thought. First Jared, then Zoe, and now even his mom seem to be implying something about him and Connor. Did they really act like a couple? Evan glanced over at the flower crown that Connor made him on his desk. Is this not what normal friends do? 

Evan thought back on his times hanging out with Jared. They hung out and joked and played video games but they didn’t make each other flower crowns or win each other prizes or paint each others nails or break into each others house to put up a million sticky notes saying nice things. But all of those things didn’t seem too romantic in nature. They just had a different type of friendship. Jared wouldn’t do any of that stuff with him, but that’s because Jared had different interests than Connor. It’s not because he and Connor were dating or anything. Because they definitely were not. Not even close. Evan was dating Connor’s sister after all. Obviously, he and Connor were just friends and Evan was just letting things get to his head, like always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually did research on a tree for this. I just wanted to find a tree related name for a red panda and I found sequoias and I wondered if there was a difference between them and redwood trees and so I looked it up. And since Evan totally would know random tree facts from off the top of his head, I added it in there. I think those facts were very in-tree-guing, personally.
> 
> Oh, and I don't have name for Connor's cat if any of you want to make one up for it. You can name Zoe's dog, if you want, as well.


	9. Finals Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's finals week and Evan is stressed out.

Stress was at an all time high. That’s right, it’s finally that time of year again. It’s finals week and Evan is very, very stressed. He wished he could just skip this week and have it be Summer already. Connor was lucky that he didn’t have to do his finals yet. Since he still had to do Summer school, he was holding off on doing them. And by that, he meant Connor wasn’t _supposed_ to do them yet. Finals are supposed to be a culmination of everything you’ve learned all year, and since Connor wasn’t here all year to learn everything, taking finals just isn’t worth it. It was a relief to Evan because that means he didn’t have to make sure that Connor did well on his finals, too. 

Evan was sitting at his desk with papers strewn all about. He was _this close_ to banging his head on the desk when there was a knock at his door. “Come in.” Connor came into the room with his hands full of various pastries. “Connor, what are you doing here? I mean, not that I mind, but you don’t need tutoring right now with finals going on.”

Connor shrugged. “I thought you might be drowning yourself in work, so I figured you could use a distraction.” He bit into a piece a cake.

“Wait, is that the cake I baked?” Evan asked, pointing at the red velvet cake that Connor was currently devouring.

“Your mom said I could take whatever I wanted. You certainly made enough food for it.”

“Yeah. I’m just super stressed right now, so whenever I’m not studying, I’m probably baking something.”

“Stress baking, huh?” Evan nodded. “Well, your stress is delicious just so you know.”

Evan laughed at that. “Your probably right about needing that break.” He admitted. “I’m just worried about failing. Failing so badly that all my grades will drop and I won’t get any scholarships and I won’t be able to afford going to college and then I can’t get a good job and I’ll end up broke and on the street and get sick and die.”

“Evan, breathe.” Evan realized he said all of that in one breath and sucked in some air. “That’s not going to happen. You’re going to do great. You know all of this stuff, so don’t stress it.”

“Right.” Evan sighed. He glanced at the food and swiftly stole a cake pop from Connor’s pile.

“Hey!” Connor protested.

“I literally made all of that, so don’t you dare complain.” Evan said as he popped the cake pop in his mouth. Connor rolled his eyes, but went back to eating happily. “Anyways, you said you came to offer me a distraction, right? So distract me.”

“Honestly, I didn’t come with a plan.” Connor admitted, mouth full of food. Evan scolded him to not speak with food in his mouth so Connor swallowed. “I’m just going to wing it.” Connor gazed around at Evan’s room, searching for something to do when his eyes landed on Evan’s 3DS. “Wanna play a video game?”

“But what about you?”

“Actually…” Connor trailed off, setting the food down to reach into the backpack he brought. “I brought my own 3DS.” He waved it, victoriously.

“Oh.” Evan reached over and grabbed his own 3DS. “So, if we have the same game that has a multiplayer feature, we could sync and and play together, I suppose… But the chances of that aren’t that likely.”

“Uh, what games do you have?”

“Um, I have Super Smash Bros, uh, I have a Mario Party game and that doesn’t even require that you have the same game so there’s that, and uh, well, the rest is mostly a bunch of Pokemon games…”

“Ah, yes, Pokemon. The game about animal abuse.”

“What?!” Evan cried in shock.

“Forcing cute little animals into balls and making them battle for you for fun.” Connor explains.

“Nononono. Pokeballs are supposed to be nice places!”

“So you have your Pokemon beat them up and throw balls at them even after the resist the first time?”

“B-but… But you don’t _make_ them battle for you. Pokemon enjoy battling! They love their trainers and it’s not like they _have_ to listen to your orders! Like when they are too over-leveled and won’t obey you!”

“Now that just sounds like your picking on the weaker Pokemon who are too scared to say no.”

“No! That’s not it at all.” Evan felt tears pricking at his eyes. “Pokemon are strong, and could easily overpower you if you weren’t a good trainer!” It was probably stupid to be getting so worked up over a game. But the Pokemon games were his favorite and he felt like he had to defend them. Plus, the things Connor were saying were horrible. How could his favorite games be about something so terrible?

Connor seemed to see how close Evan was to crying and immediately backed off. “No, no, don’t cry. I- I was joking!”

“Well, it wasn’t funny.” Obviously searching to change the subject a little, Connor asked what Evan’s favorite Pokemon was.

“Phantump.” Evan responded. Of course, it was a tree-based Pokemon. There were a few of those, but when he got Pokemon X and saw Phantump, he was hooked. It was so cute and Evan fell in love with it.

“Phantump?” Connor quickly looked it up. “Oh, _that_ Pokemon! Wait, isn’t this the one where the spirits of children who got lost in the forest and died possess dead tree stumps?” Evan knew he must have had a horrified look on his face because Connor glanced up at him and instantly shut up.

Evan looked over at his Pokemon games sadly. He probably wouldn’t play those for a while. “Um, so do you just want to play Mario Party?”

“Okay, but I call Princess Peach.”

They played games for a while before Connor had to leave to go have dinner. He wasn’t actually that hungry after all of the sweets he ate, but his parents wanted him home. 

The one thing Evan was grateful for in Finals Week was half-days. Well, that and the 15-minute break between classes. But only having two classes to take finals for a day was a lot less stressful than four classes a day. Evan thinks he did okay on his math final. I mean, he answered all of the questions so there's that. Maybe he'll get points for just trying? His History final was another thing. He probably only answered like half of the questions, which were mostly the multiple choice ones.

It was strange to walk home again. Evan had gotten so used to being driven home by Connor. He now felt both mentally exhausted from finals and physically tired from walking in the heat. Summer was so close within reach now, but Evan still needed to get through a few more days of torture. School, that is. Same difference, really.

\---

The last day of finals was the one Evan was dreading the most, but thankfully he made it through the day without dying. Walking home, he felt a weight was lifted off his shoulders. It was officially Summer Break! Soon he would be going to his graduation ceremony, which was a little bit freaky in itself, but he was finally done with high school. Evan was glad that Seniors took their finals earlier than the rest of the grades so he could get out of there sooner.

Honestly though, Evan didn’t think he would have made it through the week if it wasn’t for Connor. That boy had come to Evan’s house every day after school to make sure Evan wasn’t overworking himself. The first day, Evan was a little surprised when he got a text asking what his favorite movies were, but then Connor was knocking on his door with a pile of movies in his hands and suddenly, they were having a movie marathon. And then he showed up the next day, and the day after that.  
Continuing home, Evan wondered if Connor would show up again today. He made it through finals, so maybe they would celebrate that? As Evan neared his house, he could see someone sitting on his porch. That person was, of course, Connor Murphy.

“Congrats, you’re still alive!” Connor greeted.

“Barely.” 

“Are you alive enough to go on a mini celebration hike?”

“A mini hike?”

“Yeah. We’ll go up into the forest and walk around a bit.” Honestly, a walk in the forest with Connor sounded perfect to Evan, even if he kind of felt like just laying down in bed and dying.

“Okay.” Evan agreed and they headed towards the forest. It was a nice Summer day and Evan could hear birds singing as they got closer to the lush green expanse of woods. “I can’t believe I’m finally free. I mean, I have to worry about college now, but I’m at least free for a little.”

“Yep. And once I’m done with Summer school, I’ll be sure to join you in your Summer adventures.” Connor announced. “Do you have any plans for this Summer?” 

Evan thought for a second. “Uh, not really actually.”

“Well, I’ll hang with you.”

“Thanks. Without you, I’d be pretty lonely over Summer break. Zoe is going to that Summer camp to be a counselor, and Jared’s going to be out of town too for personal reasons…  
Well, he won’t be gone the whole summer, but still.” 

They walked all around the woods. Taking in the trees and the fresh air. Nature was really beautiful. The two boys ended up going in a circle and they came out right where they entered into the forest. Walking into the bright light after being shaded by all those trees was a little disorienting, but Evan made it through. His eyes adjusted and Connor walked Evan all the way back home.

“You still have some baked goods in there?” Connor inquired, leaning against the house. Evan rolled his eyes.

“Oh, I see. You’re using me for my food.”

“Nah, I like you. The food’s just a bonus.” Connor winked.

“We have some brownies and some pie left. Go nuts.” Evan opened the door.

By the end of the day, all of the sweets were cleared from Evan’s house. Evan didn’t know how Connor could eat so much but still remain so skinny, but he did it. Seriously, how was that kid so boney?

The next morning, Evan decided to go over to the Murphy’s house. Zoe was going to be leaving today, so Evan wanted to see her off. As soon as he walked out into the heat, he almost regretted the decision and went back inside, but he continued forward.

Evan was kind of surprised when the knocked on the door and Alana answered. “Oh, hello Evan. I was just helping Zoe pack for Summer camp. Making sure she has all the essential things, of course. I already finished my own packing a week ago, so I thought I’d assist Zoe as well.”

Alana lead Evan up to Zoe’s room and opened the door. “Zoe, you have a visitor.” She announced. 

Zoe looked up from her suitcase. “Oh, Evan! Hey, what are you doing here?” Zoe stood up and hugged Evan.

“Well, I know you’re leaving today, so I wanted to say goodbye.”

“I’ll miss you, Evan. It’s a shame you didn’t sign up to be a counselor too.” She said that, but she knew why Evan couldn’t do that. It gave Evan too much anxiety. He loved nature and outdoors and everything, but he didn’t like being around lots of people. Not to mention all the responsibilities of a counselor on his shoulders. He was too afraid he’d mess something up somehow.

“I’ll miss you too, Zoe.” They hugged for a few more seconds, before Zoe let go and went back to packing. Evan hung around until Zoe finally had to leave to get on the bus to take her to camp.

“Bye, Evan. I’ll see you in September.” Zoe gave Evan one last hug before getting on the bus with Alana and driving away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evan did better on his algebra test than he did last year in geome-tree.


	10. Camp Camp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's finally Summer so Evan joins Connor on the Murphy family camping trip.

So far, Evan’s Summer was pretty uneventful. Jared was still away, and Connor came over to hang out whenever he wasn’t swamped with schoolwork, but it had already been a over a month and Evan hadn’t done anything that he normally didn’t do. Most people went places during the Summer. They did fun things that they couldn’t do during any other season. Evan wasn’t doing any of that stuff and it kind of sucks. It’s not like he could really afford to travel somewhere but still _something_ would be nice.

Evan was just laying on his bed when he heard the door open. His mom shouldn’t be home yet, so who was opening the door? He was about to start panicking when Connor walked into Evan’s room. Oh, right. Evan forgot he gave Connor a key to his house. He came over so often that it was just convenient for him to have his own key.

“Yo, Ev.” Connor greeted. “Guess what?

“Um, what?”

“Guess who just finished Summer school!” Connor asked, jumping onto Evan’s bed and sitting down.

“You’re done with Summer school?!” Evan exclaimed, shooting up onto his feet.

“Yep! I’m finally free from high school.” Connor fell back onto the bed. “I do have another reason for coming over, though.” Evan looked at the taller boy questioningly, so he continued. “My family goes camping every Summer as sort of a ‘family bonding’ thing and we decided to still go even though Zoe is gone. And now that I'm done with school we can go.”

Evan frowned. If Connor was going camping then he wouldn’t be able to see him for a little while and Evan would be all alone. However, Connor wasn’t done.

“I never really liked camping with my family. Maybe when I was a little kid and was still on good terms with Zoe, but still. The whole ‘bonding’ thing is just bullshit because there’s never any actually bonding and when we get home we just all fight again. But, I think camping could be fun if I had someone I actually wanted to hang out with go too…” Connor looked at Evan hopefully.

“Are you asking me to go camping with you?” Evan inquired, feeling unsure and confused.

“Yeah. You don’t have to come, but I’d appreciate if you did.”

“Of course I’ll come! But, uh, are your parents okay with this?” Evan wrung his hands together nervously. He didn’t want to just barge into their family outing.  
Connor shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. You’re coming and that’s that.”

Turns out, Larry and Cynthia didn’t really care. Evan sat awkwardly in the back seat of the car with Connor. The entire ride was completely silent. No one spoke to each other at all. Wasn’t this supposed to be a family bonding thing? How are you supposed to bond if no one communicates with each other? Evan thought about starting a conversation with Connor, but in the quiet car, it would sound very loud even if he whispered. Connor sat there, leaning against the window and picking at his nails and without anything else to do, Evan just stared at him.

Connor was strangely beautiful. Evan wondered how both of the Murphy kids got to be so beautiful. Connor’s long hair looked so soft in this light and Evan knew from experience that it was. Evan briefly remembered the time when Connor let him braid his hair. Evan didn’t actually know how to braid hair, so Connor had taught him. It had taken Evan a few tries to get it right, but when he finally got the hang of it, he had to admit it was pretty fun. Looking at him now, Evan kind of wanted to reach out and touch Connor’s hair but he wasn’t sure if Connor would want him to and he couldn’t ask for permission because he didn’t want to speak at the moment.

Then Connor looked up at Evan and the tree-loving boy averted his eyes, embarrassed from being caught staring. Focusing his thoughts back on camping, Evan thought back to when the last time he went camping was. He didn’t think he’d been camping since his father left. After that happened, his mom became really busy trying to make money and keep everything together for her and Evan, so she didn’t have time to take her little boy camping. Evan was sort of nervous about it for some reason. He loved nature, but it had been forever since he went camping and actually slept outside. Speaking of nature, though, Evan gazed out the window to the forest surrounding them. They had to be getting close by now, right?

When they _finally_ get to their destination, Evan is very relieved. Everyone almost immediately starts setting up camp, leaving Evan standing there awkwardly. He was so caught up in watching Larry and Cynthia put up their tents, he didn’t notice Connor sneak up behind him. 

“What? You don't know how to pitch a tent?” Connor teased. Evan jumped and spun his head around to Connor, who winked at him. Evan had to take a second to process what Connor just said. Evan groaned and rolled his eyes. Instead of commenting on the innuendo, Evan admitted that he didn’t actually know how to put up a tent. Connor offered to teach him. “I guess it’s my time to tutor you.” 

Eventually, they did end up with a stable tent. Connor had to fix a few things, but it was all good. “I was actually kind of surprised when you said you didn’t know how to set up a tent, Nature Boy.”

“Uh, well, I haven’t been camping since my dad left… Which a long time ago. I was pretty little, so that’s why he never taught me to, I guess.” Connor just nodded along.

That night, the Murphy’s and Evan sat around the campfire. When they got out the marshmallows, Evan got excited. He loved smores. However, he hadn’t actually roasted one over the fire before. He usually would just put the graham cracker and marshmallow in the microwave and stick some chocolate on top, but there were no microwaves in the wild.  
Putting the marshmallow on the stick was easy enough, but when Evan pulled it out of the fire, it was burnt. Evan glared at it as if it offended him and glanced over at Connor, who was proudly brandishing his perfectly cooked marshmallow.

“Want to trade?” Connor asked, surprising Evan. “I actually like the burnt ones more.” Evan wondered if maybe he was just saying that just for Evan’s sake until Connor continued. “I usually leave mine in for longer, but I wanted to impress you with my toasting skills.”

Evan snorted. “You don’t have to impress me, Connor. But thank you.” Evan took the marshmallow from Connor and placed it on his graham cracker.   
Evan felt at peace sitting there, the only sounds being the crackling of the fire and the trees rustling in the breeze. That is, until a soft singing came from across the fire pit. Surprised, Evan looked up. It was coming from Larry Murphy. Evan certainly didn’t expect that. He didn’t think Larry was a singing guy. Evan didn’t know Larry that well, mainly because Evan found him too intimidating to start a conversation with, so he supposed he couldn’t assume. 

Beside him, Connor groaned. Larry stopped singing at that and faced Evan. “Every year, we sing a campfire song around the campfire. And that means everyone.” He looked pointedly at Connor. 

Singing? In front of all these people? It’s not like they were strangers, but somehow that made it worse. But, it’s not like he’s going to have to sing alone, right?  
Evan glanced over at Connor, who was giving him a strange look that was a mix of excitement and something Evan couldn't identify. It felt weird to not be able to read Connor after they’ve been friends for so long. Actually, they haven't been friends that long, Evan realized. It hasn't even been a year. Heck, it hasn't even been half of a year. Still, Evan couldn't imagine his life with Connor.

~~~

Connor hated their annual campfire song, but he had to admit he really wanted to hear Evan sing again. He only got a glimpse of it before at the carnival. However, he could see Evan was nervous. He was fidgeting a lot and looking intensely at the ground. It was pretty cute, though.  
Then, Evan looked up at Connor, and Connor tried to give Evan an encouraging smile. At least, he hoped it was an encouraging smile. It must have been because it seemed to work. Connor could see some of the tension drain out of Evan. He was glad. Connor was sure that no matter stupid song Larry chose for them to sing, Evan would rock it.

And boy, was he right. Connor was sort of glad he had this particular song ingrained in his mind from the countless times they’ve sung it before, because this way he didn’t have to focus on the words and could focus on Evan. It was obvious that he wasn’t very confident and he didn’t know the words yet, but even just the timid melody coming out of Evan’s mouth was pretty good. 

As they kept singing, however, Evan slowly came out of his shell and sang a bit louder. It was obvious that singing was something that Evan was passionate about. Maybe not as passionate as he is with trees or baking or even flower crown-making, but it was still something he enjoyed. The singing didn’t last too long, and normally Connor would be extremely relieved, but now he mourned the loss of music. 

It was at that point Larry and Cynthia decided to head to bed. They put out the fire and climbed into their tent, leaving the boys in darkness. Thankfully, Connor had planned for this and pulled out his flashlight. They both just sat in a comfortable silence, just soaking in the nature as well as each other’s presence. 

“Hey,” Evan quietly broke the silence. “I just want you to know I’m really glad I met you.”

“I’m really glad I met you, too. It makes me grateful for the fact that I didn’t actually die.” With those words, there was a sudden shift in atmosphere. A more serious one. Connor figured they’d talk about this at some point anyways, so he decided that now was okay. He sighed. “That’s not to say I’m completely better. There are still days where I feel like shit. Where I feel like the things they told me in rehab- things about how you should care about yourself and get better- are just lies. I try to believe in them, but sometimes it doesn’t work. Sometimes… sometimes, I lay awake in bed wondering why I’m still alive. And then I remember, ‘oh right, it’s because I didn’t succeed the first time… Or the second time.’” 

Evan swiftly grabbed Connor’s hand. Evan hadn’t known Connor had tried to kill himself twice. It was sort of like that time at the carnival, where he wasn’t sure who it was for. He’s starting to think it’s for himself more than Connor.

“I remember when I first woke up, my first thought was, “Wow, I can’t even kill myself right.’” Connor took a deep breath. “But then there are days like this, where I actually feel good. Where I realize I have gotten better and I am still continuing to get better. And I’m finding that those days are usually the days I’m with you.”  
Evan’s breath caught in his throat. He sat there, looking into Connor’s eyes for a moment, trying to process all of what he said. Evan was somehow helping Connor just by being there for him? It was a crazy idea.

“Hey, Connor? Remember the very first day of Senior year?”

“Yeah. I pushed you. Sorry about that, by the way.”

“It’s fine, I forgave you a long time ago. But, I was going to ask, do you remember I had a cast?”

“Right. I feel even worse for pushing you because of that.”

“The point is, I told everyone I broke my arm because I fell out of a tree.”

“Did you?”

“Sort of. I didn’t…I didn’t _fall_ out of the tree. I let go.” Connor squeezed Evan’s hand and Evan was a bit surprised since he totally forgot he was still holding Connor’s hand.

“Connor, I’ve never… I’ve never done this sort of thing before. Letting someone in. I don’t let anyone see me. The real me. B-because they’ll hate me.” Evan teared up against his own will, “They’ll hate the real me just like I do.”

Connor took Evan’s face in his hands and looked directly into his eyes. “I don’t hate you at all. I told you, you’re the one thing I don’t hate about the world.” Connor winked and they both started laughing.

After awhile they settle down and relapse into the silence from before. Connor picks up his flashlight from where he dropped it earlier, rolling it from hand to hand. “So, what do you want to do?”

“Um, I don’t know. What do you normally do when you camp?”

“Well, there’s of lots of things we _could_ do. We could tell ghost stories,” Evan shook his head at that, “Or we could go exploring, but I wouldn’t recommend that, since it’s dark out.” Connor thought a moment, looking up towards the sky. “Ah-ha!” Connor snapped his fingers. “I know what we can do.” Connor laid down on the grass and pointed up at the sky. Evan, confused, sat down on the ground next to him. Connor could see the confusion melt into awe when Evan finally moved his eyes to where Connor had been pointing.

“Wow. I didn’t know there were that many stars.”

“They’re a whole lot easier to see out here where there are no bright lights.” Connor raised his hand again to point out some stars. “Do you see those three bright stars in a line?”

“Um,” Evan tried to search for them. “Yeah.”

“That’s Orion’s Belt. And over there is the Big Dipper, and there is the Little Dipper. Which is part of Ursa Minor. Did you know the Little Dipper isn’t actually a constellation, but an asterism.”

“What’s an asterism?”

“Oh, right. It’s a prominent pattern or group of stars.”

“You know a lot about stars.” Evan commented.

“You know a lot about trees.” Connor shot back.

“Well, yeah. I just didn’t know you liked stars. I mean, who doesn’t like stars, but you never said anything about it.”

“I do like stars, but I didn’t think it was a big enough part of me to mention, I guess.” Connor shrugged. “I learned all about them because I got bored on these camping trips and I wanted to see if I could see any constellations so I started looking them up.”

“I see.” Evan shivered. “It may be Summer, but it’s still pretty cold at night.”

“Wanna go grab our sleeping bags and bring them out here so we can look at the stars and stay warm at the same time?”

“Okay.” 

They both dragged their sleeping bags out of the tent and set up for a night of stargazing. Connor named all of the constellations he could from off the top of his head and showed Evan how to find them before continuing to the next one. Eventually, he did run out of constellations to name, so he figured they’d just go to sleep now or something, but then Evan spoke up.

“If you connect those stars together, they kind of look like a tree.” Evan says and Connor tries to follow his gaze to see what star he’s looking at.

“Of course, you had to make your own tree constellation.”

“Well, I don’t know any real one like you do.” Evan stated, eyes roaming the sky.

Connor raked his eyes over the starry sky as well. “If you look closely there, it sort of looks like Ash.”

“Ash?”

“Yeah, that’s what I named the cat you got me at the carnival.”

“Why’d you name it Ash?” Evan inquired, removing his gaze from the stars to look at the boy next to him.

“Uh,” Connor rubbed the back of his neck, “Actually it’s named after the ash tree.”

“You named it after a tree?”

“Well, whenever I saw it, I thought of you, so I had to name it after a tree because that’s what you would have done…” Connor admitted.

Evan snorted. “You’re totally right about that. I mean, I named my red panda Sequoia. That’s proof enough.” Connor smiled at him. “Um, for real though. I feel flattered you thought of me when naming it.”

“I actually thought of naming it Evie, but I thought it was a little too on the nose.”

“Oh my gosh, really?” Connor nodded. “Wow. That would have also been a cute name, too, though.”

“Plus, I saw it as more of a boy than a girl, so Ash seemed better.” Connor shook his head. “ _Anyways_ , I was saying that group of stars resembles a cat.”

“Where?” Evan scanned the sky. “Oh, nevermind I see it now. Or a least I think I do? Constellations are kind of vague when it comes to making a picture.”

“You’re not wrong.”

They make up a few more constellations before their eyes start to droop and they are tucking themselves further into their sleeping bags.

In the morning, Larry and Cynthia wake up to find the two boys laying out in the grass, sleeping peacefully after falling asleep under the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evan: The stars are beautiful tonight.  
> Connor: Yeah.  
> Evan: You know what else is beautiful?  
> Connor: *blushes* What?  
> Evan: Trees.
> 
> So tell me, are these tree puns ent-ertaining yet? No?? You think they arbor-ing?! Want me to spruce them up a bit? Or should I take it down a notch? You want me to knot do them at all?! But these puns run through my very bloods-tree-m! I don't need your commen-tree. Please leaf me alone now.
> 
> But also, thanks to Pastelspacebabe for the ideas for the cat's name.


	11. Sincerely, Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan has a panic attack and Connor takes him back to the apple orchard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. It's the last chapter... I've been working on this so long and it's finally over. It's kind of weird not to be working on this anymore, but I've already started some more stories, so it's okay. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy...

The day started off good. Evan was just chilling with Connor in the the taller boy’s room when he got the call. They had just gotten back from camping.  
Evan jumped when his phone rang. He quickly answered it. 

“Hello, are you Evan Hansen?” The voice on the other side said.

“Uh, yeah.” Evan glanced at Connor awkwardly.

As the lady continued, Evan’s blood ran cold. He nearly dropped the phone in shock, but instead he held on tighter. With a crushing grip on his phone, Evan listened as the lady continued. When she finished, Evan gave her a weak goodbye and suddenly lost all feeling in his legs, dropping to the ground. Struggling to breathe, Evan closed his eyes tight. His chest hurt and it felt like he was being choked. The blood pounding in his ears almost drowned out the sound of hushed talking.

“Breathe with me Evan.” Evan opened his eyes to look at Connor, but his vision was all distorted. He tried to focus on Connor’s face but he was struggling. Connor led him through some breathing exercises and then asked, “How many fingers does a single hand have?”

Evan opened his mouth but found he couldn’t speak. He closed it and opened it again. “Um, f-five?” Evan managed to say.

“Good. What’s the color of your walls?” Evan glanced around.

“Blue.”

Connor kept asking questions like that and reassuring Evan until he finally calmed down. “Are you okay now?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Can I ask what happened?”

“I… I just got a call from the hospital.” Evan started, “My m-mom… she… she accidentally cut herself really badly with a knife when cooking dinner. She- she’s fine. She just has to get stitches. It’s really stupid to be panicking over that when I know she’ll be fine but-”

Connor cut him off. “Evan, don’t you dare say that. It’s totally natural to panic when someone you love is hurt.”

“But-”

“No ‘buts’, Evan. Your feelings are valid.” Connor stated firmly.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes before Connor spoke up again. “Do you want to go see her?”

Evan shook his head. “I- I don’t think I could handle that right now. I know she’s fine. It’s just stitches, r-right? B-but I just don’t want to go to the hospital right now. Or anywhere in public, to be honest.”

“Well, do you want to get out of here? Go to the apple orchard? Not exactly a public place.”

“Honestly, that would make me feel so much better.” 

Connor stood up and offered his hand to help Evan up off the ground as well.

It took no time to get to Autumn Smile apple orchard. They sit, tossing pebbles into the creek. “Hey, um, Evan?”

Evan looked up at Connor at the sound of his name. “What?”

“I just wanted to let you know… uh, you’re the only person who can make me feel better about myself, at least temporarily. You’re the only person who has really bothered to try. I just wanted to say this because I really appreciate you being there for me. And, well, you’re my best friend.” 

“You’re my best friend, too, Connor. You’ve helped me so much. I mean, you literally just helped me through a panic attack! You- you make me feel… safe. No, that sounds stupid. Um, but I feel free to be myself around you, you know? Geez, how do words work?”

Connor laughed. “I understand.” Evan could feel Connor’s breath on his face and wondered when they had gotten so close. Evan glanced back and forth between Connor’s eyes. He had really pretty eyes.

It was unsure who leaned in first, but one second they were apart and the next they were connected by their lips. Evan has kissed before, but there was something behind this one that was different. Something that made it so wonderful. It was hard to describe. But it was something.

The kiss had started soft, but quickly grew more passionate and fiery. Evan had never been kissed like that. It was crazy and intoxicating. It was nothing like kissing Zoe. 

...Wait. ZOE! Evan pulls away and stares at Connor, slowly realizing what the fuck he had just done. He could see on Connor’s face that he was having the same recognition. “I-” Evan started, not knowing where it was going, but needing to say _something_. Before he could say any more that that, though, Connor was dashing off as fast as he could all the way back to his car and he drove away.

Evan almost felt relieved to not have to go through that conversation, but instead he sat horrified and frozen with a single thought. He just cheated on his girlfriend.  
Evan moved to get up and with shaky legs he walked himself all the way home. It was only when he sat on his bed that it all came crashing down onto him. He _cheated_ on his girlfriend! And with her brother, no less! His thoughts raced.

_‘Why did I even do that? Why would I kiss him? I have a girlfriend! A girlfriend who is HIS SISTER. Will he tell her? No he can’t, he kissed me too. She would kill him. She’s going to kill me. I deserve it, I’m a terrible person. It was a nice kiss though. UGH what am I thinking? But WHY WHY WHY did I do that? And with Connor. I mean, he’s my best friend, but that’s all he is. He may be cool and smart and really nice, even if tries to convince people otherwise, and has a great smile and a contagious laugh that makes you want to laugh too and being around him makes everything better and he’s gorgeous and all around kind of perfect and-_

_..._

_FUCK_

_Oh crap, I’m in love with my girlfriend’s brother._

_Wait. I’m gay?????? I didn’t know I was gay! Oh fuck, I’m gay. And I’m gay for my girlfriend’s brother. What is my life?!?!?  
So am I bisexual then? That kind of sounds right. I mean, I didn’t even know I liked guys until Connor. Or maybe it’s just Connor. I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ANYMORE WHY IS THIS ALL HAPPENING TO ME?!?!’ _

~~~  
Meanwhile, Connor is also freaking out. He tries to calm down and do things that they taught him in rehab to try and calm himself but they aren’t working. He shouldn’t have kissed Evan. And he shouldn’t have just ran away. That’s just adding insult to injury. Still, he did it and now he can’t take it back. 

_‘Why did I do that? Ugh, I just had to fall in love with the guy who was dating my sister, didn’t I? She’s really lucky to have him. I guess everyone was right and I really do just ruin everything. I just had to kiss Evan fucking Hansen! My sister’s boyfriend! But…_

_He kissed back. Why did he kiss back?_

_...Instinct. It had to be on instinct. There was no way someone as wonderful as Evan Hansen would ever want to kiss someone like Connor Murphy.’_

~~~

Evan laid on his bed, clutching his red panda to his chest. Steadying out his breathing, Evan tried to sort out his feelings without freaking out. So, he liked Connor. But he was dating Zoe. And he liked Zoe. So what was he going to do? 

He squeezed Sequoia tighter. He held her up above his head and looked at her. (Yes, Sequoia is a girl) Connor had won him this. At the carnival. The carnival which was supposed to be the setting for a date with Zoe but ended up being a day spent with Connor. At the end of that day, Zoe had joked it was more like he was dating Connor. Was that really true?

Evan sighed and wrapped his arms around Sequoia again. Feelings were so confusing. He was dating Zoe, so it’d be the easiest to stay with her, right? But Evan wasn’t sure. He loved Zoe. He _thought_ he loved Zoe. But now he’s thinking he loves Connor. Can you love two people at once?

Zoe was amazing. She was the girl he always wanted to like him back. And then she did and it was great. 

But Connor was his best friend. The person who he felt most comfortable around. The boy who who dragged him off to an orchard and an icecream shop. The boy who sat by him in Chemistry every other day. The boy who had cute doodles in his notebook. The boy who ate everything Evan baked. The boy who cried in his arms and the boy whose arms he cried into. The boy who loved thunderstorms. The boy who painted nails with him. The boy who literally broke into his house to put up sticky notes everywhere. The boy who he made flower crowns with. The boy who he had a pillow fight with. The boy who won him a red panda at the carnival. The boy who came by everyday during finals to make sure he wasn’t too stressed. The boy who he gazed at stars with. 

The boy who he somehow fell in love with.

Evan took a few more days to sort through his feelings before coming to a conclusion. He hadn’t talked to Connor since the incident. Evan wasn’t sure what Connor was thinking, but he knew he need to talk to him. Even if Connor didn’t feel the same and that kiss meant nothing to him, Evan couldn’t live without his best friend.

Building up courage, Evan walked out of the door and all the way to Connor Murphy’s house. He knocked on the door and let out a breath of relief when it was only Cynthia. 

“Oh, are you looking for Connor? I believe he’s upstairs in his room.”

Evan thanked her and started climbing the stairs. With each step he climbed he felt more and more anxious. But he had to do this, so he pushed through. He finally reached the top and paused. He stood in the hallway, just staring at the door to Connor’s room. He could do this.

Evan went up and knock on his door.

“Who is it?” Connor called from within the room.

“I-it’s Evan.” When Evan got no response after that he tried again, “Can I come in?”

The boy on the other side of the door was silent. 

“Connor, please? I need to talk to you.” Evan could hear shuffling and then the door was almost violently swung open.

“What?”

“Are we going to talk about this?”

“What is there to talk about?” Connor tried to get past Evan, but Evan blocked him.

“We kissed.”

Connor didn’t say anything. He wasn’t even looking at Evan.

“Connor.” Evan tried again.

“What about it?” Connor was literally looking everywhere but the other boy.

“Did that… mean anything to you?” God, this was so awkward, but it’s something Evan needed to do.

Connor was silent, but Evan patiently waited for his answer. Finally Connor’s voice came quietly out into the open. “Of course it did.”

There was a pause. Evan didn’t know what he was expecting but he kind of prepared for the worse. He had hoped for this but… He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t plan this far.  
“I’m sorry, I probably ruined everything, I’ll go.” Connor moved to try and get past Evan and to the door. Evan panicked. He couldn’t just let Connor get away from him now! Evan grabbed Connor’s arm and pulled him back. Connor looked at him, confused, and Evan couldn’t find any words to say so he just kissed Connor. It was awkward and the angle was off but it only lasted a second.

When he pulled back again, Evan said. “I-it meant something to me too.”

“But what about Zoe?” Evan cringed at that. This was the part he was the least looking forward to. 

“I- I’m going to break up with her. I-it’s the right thing to do...”

“What?”

“Sh-she’s great and I really do like her, but I don’t love her. I- I thought I did, but…” Evan trailed off. 

“But what?” Connor urged Evan to continue.

“But I know it wasn’t love, now. Because I know what love feels like now and it’s what I feel like when I’m with you. I love you, Connor.” He panicked internally because maybe he shouldn’t have said that so soon.

Connor couldn’t speak for a moment. His eyes watered up. “I love you too, Evan.” Connor told Evan, relieving all of this fears.

They wrapped their arms around each other and held on tight. “I missed you.” Connor admitted.

“I missed you, too.” Evan pulled back a little to look Connor in the eyes. Being face to face, Connor couldn’t help but to kiss Evan again. But this time, he was going to really enjoy and savour it. Their first kiss was very sudden and ended with Connor running away. But Evan chose Connor, so he could do this without feeling bad.

“Ok, as much as I like doing that, you can’t kiss me again until after I break up with Zoe.” Evan told Connor firmly, making space between them.  
Connor pouted. He was just given this amazing present of Evan Hansen and he couldn't even kiss him?

“You’re making it hard not to kiss you.” Evan gestured to Connor’s pouty face.

“Then just kiss me.” Connor said, pulling Evan back towards him.

“Ugh, okay fine, but just one more kiss.”

 

Spoiler Alert: It’s not just one more kiss. They end up making out on Connor’s bed. Honestly, neither of them really know how they ended up here, but they aren’t complaining. Then there’s a knock on the door and they jolt apart.

“Connor it’s time for dinner!” Cynthia Murphy called from the other side. “Evan is free to join us, if he likes.” 

“Uh, I’ll be down in a minute.” Connor responded, only letting himself relax when he heard her heading back downstairs.

Evan jumped off of Connor. “That was really close! What if she had came in? She would have seen us and I’m technically still dating Zoe so that would have ended up really badly! See, this is why I said you can’t kiss me until I tell Zoe!”

“Evan, calm down. I promise I won’t kiss you again until after you break up with Zoe. No matter how hard it’ll be not to.”

\----

This was it. Today was the day Zoe was coming home. Today was the day that Evan had to break up with Zoe Murphy. This was going to be the worse ‘welcome home’ ever. Evan was waiting over at the Murphy household for Zoe to arrive. He was nervous. Almost more nervous than when he came over here to talk to Connor a month ago. Confessing and breaking up were two different things. Both were definitely nerve-wracking, though.

Finally, Zoe arrived home. Everyone greeted her and she hugged every single one of them. Evan waited a little bit before going up to her, wanting her to have time to be welcomed back before he had to break up with her.

Once things had settled down and Zoe wasn’t swamped with people anymore, Evan walked over to her. “Zoe, can I talk to you?”

“Yeah, I actually wanted to talk to you too.” She smiled at him and they wandered off to a more private place. Evan’s hands were sweating, but that didn’t matter.

“Okay, so here’s the thing… D-during the Summer… I, um… well-”

“I think we should break up.” Wait. That didn’t come from Evan’s lips. It was Zoe who blurted that out.

“Wait, what?”

“I’m so sorry, Evan. But at Summer camp, I realized I was in love with someone else.” Was this really happening? Or did Evan just pass out?

“With who?”

“Alana Beck.” That… that actually isn’t the weirdest thing that’s happened so far.

“Oh wow, I can totally see that.”

“Seriously, I am so so sorry, Evan, I just-”

“Nononono it’s fine! I was actually going to say we should break up, too.”

“Really?” Zoe asked in disbelief.

“Yeah. I, um, also realized I was in love with someone else.”

“Seriously? Who?” Zoe demanded, probably far too excitedly for someone who just got broken up with.

As she asked that, Connor poked his head into the room. “Did you tell her yet?” Evan nodded. “So I can kiss you now?”

Zoe bursted out laughing. “My brother? You fell in love with my brother? Jesus, this sounds like a bad sitcom!”

“I’m surprised you’re taking this so well.” Connor commented. If he just got dumped by Evan, he would be devastated.

“Oh, yeah. Alana and I are dating now.”

“Wow this _is_ a bad sitcom. But also I can totally see you two together.”

“That’s what I said!”

Connor swiftly leaned over and planted his lips on Evan’s, finally doing what he’d been wanting to do for a month now.

You know,” Zoe started, “His lips have already touched mine, so technically you’re indirectly kissing me.”

“Zoe what the fuck?!” Connor spluttered. She just shrugged in response.

“Ugh, that’s so gross. I’m going to go find Alana and kiss her so you have to go through this, too.” Connor headed towards the door, but was pulled back by his boyfriend.

“Noooo! Your lips are mine!” Evan complained and then promptly realized that Zoe could still hear him, and turned into a tomato.

Connor wasn’t that much better off and Zoe wiggled her eyebrows at him. “Shut up, Zoe.” He shooed her off and she was more than happy to leave them alone.

“Oh my God I can’t believe I said that in front of your sister.”

“And your ex-girlfriend.” Connor pointed out.

“Oh my God.” Evan repeated.

“Aww, come on. What happened to my brave overlord?” Connor teased.

“Are you seriously going to do that again?”

Connor leaned down to whisper in Evan’s ear. “Take me, overlord.”

Evan pushed Connor away. “Nevermind, go kiss Alana.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally had to bring back that "overlord" thing from chapter 7.
> 
> I can't beleaf it's over! I'm feeling pretty oak-complished after finishing this. Thank you all for enduring all my puns through out this journey. I hope yew all didn't face-palm too badly at them. But's it's time for me to take my final bough. So I'll make like a tree and leaf now. Hope you enjoyed it! Thank you all for your comments and kudos. They make me really happy. :)
> 
> Also, I drew some art for this if you want to check that out.
> 
> https://someartthatido.tumblr.com/post/171538218914/i-made-some-art-for-my-dear-evan-hansen-fanfic  
> https://someartthatido.tumblr.com/post/171538309209/heres-some-art-for-my-treebros-deh-fanfic-my  
> https://someartthatido.tumblr.com/post/171538396849/two-more-drawings-for-my-deh-treebros-fanfic-you  
> https://someartthatido.tumblr.com/post/171538655749/last-two-pieces-of-art-for-my-deh-treebros-fic


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